Chandler’s Honesty Part 4: A Horse in the Night

Chandler’s Honesty Part 4: A Horse in the Night

Chapter 0: The Strength of the Soul

Chastity White Rose was a personally conflicted animal. She had the body of a human male yet knew that her body was not who she really was. She had dreams of a place where everything was beautiful and yet made little sense. Every day she pondered over whether the human world called Earth was the real world or whether the dream world was the real world. There were questions she had this time that no human would understand nor have the answers for. There was only one person she could talk to. And that person was a unicorn. It’s horn was truth and its name was Honesty.

And by this time Chastity learned that Honesty appeared only at certain times. All of these times had something in common. It was always when there was a conflict over what she really believed or was unsure about what to do in her life. One night she had been doing some online searching for information about unicorns. She then entered the dream world, but was unsure if it was really a dream because she did not remember going to sleep.

H: Hello again Chastity, nice to see you again. It’s been a long time. What brings you here today?

C: I was hoping you could tell me. It seems that I come to this field in the dream a lot. It reminds me of the field I used to go in near where I used to live. I spent hours thinking and praying while hiding in the tall grass. I’m always glad to be here but I know not why I am here.

H: Because just like the other times, you have questions that can only be answered straight from the horse’s mouth. What would you like to ask me first?

C: I would like to ask you about something that does not make sense. The last time we talked you quoted Matthew 5:8 to me which says “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”. We also talked about many other things Jesus said in the Bible. But something about all this does not feel right. I still don’t understand what these Bible verses are supposed to mean for my life now. You know I don’t believe that Jesus even existed yet you mention these things as if they are relevant somehow.

H: There is much to be said about it but you must remember that you wished you knew the truth about angels, demons, gods, and the nature of being. You wished this because you felt you might be able to be friends with religious people and even inspire them to go vegan if you were able to communicate with them. This is a desire that you never told anyone and you don’t like humans to know you have these thoughts. Why is that?

C: Because they must know that I am not one of them and that they cannot simply talk about god or the bible or invite me to their church and try to change my mind. People do these things and it gets old really fast. I find it rather offensive and it reminds me a lot of the people who tried to talk me out of removing my testicles and tell me that one day I will change my mind and fall in love with some woman and want to have sex with her. People think I will change but I know I won’t.

H: And how is it that you know that you will not change your mind about sex or change your mind about God?

C: Because what I believe about these things comes from my heart. It’s not simply a matter of whether or not I read or hear the right information and believe it. It’s not about the mind. I know there is more to me. I know that who I am is not this weak human body. I used to think it was my brain and that when my brain dies that I would too, but then something changed.

H: What changed that showed you that there was more to you than you had believed?

C: Because there are things that I came to know that were true. I know that the golden rule is the right way to live. I should treat others as I want to be treated. I knew that my path of veganism and celibacy was the right way I must live. I knew this because even though my mind and body are weak and sometimes they send different messages, I have a soul that overpowers them.

H: A bold statement, but you have finally told me that you came to believe in your soul. How is it that your soul is more powerful than your body and mind? What is the difference between these things?

C: When I started learning about the things that were happening in the world such as abortion, factory farming, politics, and the corruption and greed for money that I witnessed in the churches I attended, I knew these things were wrong. No human told me these things. I knew. And then there was the conflict between the things I had been taught about gay people. People told me that they were sinners in rebellion against God and would go to hell. It really forced me to face the fact that I did not agree with what I had been told.

I knew that the things I was told are wrong and I knew things that nobody told me. How did I know? Whether it’s called a heart, conscience, soul, spirit, or inner voice, it’s all the same because it means that I am not only just the sum of my genetics and what I was taught. There is something stronger than all that. Strong enough to stand up for what is right even though I lose friends and even though it would be better for me financially if I could just go along with everything and do whatever makes me popular and could impress people, I don’t want that.

My body does not want to go on and I am so tired and wish to not do anything more than required to make a living, but I still work at improving myself and learning new things because I have a mission in life even though I don’t know what it is. My mind craves friendship and to be liked and perhaps even a lifelong relationship somewhat like a marriage someday but my soul remains undistracted by other desires and knows that whatever I must do, it is difficult and will come at a great price both to me and to anyone unlucky enough to be in my life. There is a conflict between the three parts but in the end, it is the soul that wins because it is the strongest. It knows what is right or wrong for me.

H: Yes, you have knowledge without an explainable source. It’s usually easy to find why you came to believe things because you were taught them, but when you see something new and you know whether it’s right or wrong, it says a lot more about you.

C: I want to know more about me and why I have this power. The power to go on and do my best even though I see no hope of making a difference. I cannot make the world perfect and I cannot protect all the animals and babies, but I wish I had the power.

H: And this power? Do you believe there is a power that could make the world right?

C: No, but I often wish that there was. What the world needs is a hero, someone who is powerful and yet good. Both are required if there is to be any hope for life as we know it.

H: And is there anyone, if anything were possible, that would be qualified to be this hero?

C: Yes, a unicorn, like the ancient legends.

Chapter 1: The Legend of Unicorns

H: Tell me, Chastity, what do you think you know about unicorns?

C: Unicorns are like many mythical creatures such as dragons, elves, fairies, angels, demons, gods, etc. They are spoken of in many legends and are just as common as the other types of supernatural beings. They have special powers and they are immortal, yet they are different than the others. Rather than being human-like, they are horses with one horn. And they also have a good gentle nature and represent goodness and moral purity. They are powerful but not to be feared like dragons or gods who may be dangerous or evil. It’s also the fact that they are known to be eternal and live forever. This makes them so interesting that some people believe they were real or maybe even are real still. Any claim about the existence of a unicorn is unfalsifiable and so there is no reason that someone can’t think these things.

H: And what about you? What do you think about the unicorns? Are they real to you?

C: Yes. I cannot explain it but somehow I’ve always wanted to believe they are real.

H: You’ve never felt the same about the other mythical beings, have you?

C: No, I never really wished for any of them to be real because I don’t care about them. They are not as consistent in their goodness and so even if they were real, it’s not enough for me. It’s not so important to me whether someone exists. It’s more important that they are good than whether or not they simply exist. Existence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Lots of us exist but only those who are good are worth knowing and worth remembering.

H: You know I’m a unicorn and you are talking to a unicorn at this very moment. So you believe that I exist, don’t you?

C: Of course. I cannot deny my experience with you. Somehow you have helped me where other humans fail. But some things about you don’t make sense to my mind, yet I feel you.

H: And what about my goodness. You have talked with me about many things and I have helped you by providing someone you can talk to. So I must ask you: Do you believe in my goodness?

C: Yes. I’m not sure why you are good but if you are in my dream world then you must be good. You cannot hurt me and you cannot lie to me.

H: If you trust me, I can tell you some things that you have been wanting to know. Ask me anything and I will answer.

C: What did you mean when you told me that the pure in heart will see God? You quoted the book of Matthew to me where Jesus said that but you know I don’t believe in the biblical God. That’s why the statement didn’t make sense and I must know the answer to why you said this when I don’t believe in God.

H: Ah, but you do believe in something, even though it does not match the description of the God described in the bible. You already know the answer deep inside but I know how to ask the right questions so that you learn to answer your own questions.

C: You can be quite annoying at times, Honesty. I want answers yet you give me more questions. But fine, I’ll play your game. What is the question that you must ask me that you say will help me answer my questions?

H: What is your higher power?

C: What do you mean by higher power? Higher than what?

H: A power higher than yourself. Everybody has a higher power, though it is not always called as such. A person’s higher power is easy to identify. It is the authority someone follows. There is always a boss. Always someone or something that is the top priority. For some the higher power is money, for others it is sex or to be popular with their peers. Everyone has a higher power and you are no exception. What did you say earlier? It’s not so important that someone exists, it’s more important that they are ____

C: Good!

H: Yes, you have revealed that you believe that the goodness of someone is more important than the knowledge of whether or not they existed. When you first stopped believing in the teachings of Christianity, it wasn’t because you suddenly stopped believing that God didn’t exist anymore. It was deeper than that. You stopped caring about whether there was a God because you did not believe he was good.

C: Yes that’s true. I knew that the God described in the bible was powerful according to the stories but that this God was not intervening in the lives of people when they really needed it. I needed something real that I could see. Not just some story in old books.

H: Yet you believe in unicorns, even though you have never seen us in the human world. We are in books and many things are told about us. So how do you know which stories of unicorns are true?

C: It’s not that I believe every story about unicorns happened. It’s about what unicorns do. They protect their friends and they rescue those in trouble. It is the idea of unicorns that makes people want to believe. It is not evidence of their existence, it is that unicorns are known for being good. A convincing story can make someone believe, but it is a good story that makes someone want to believe.

H: It seems you understand well what your higher power is. Truth is important but knowing what is true is of no use in the hands of someone without a good heart.

C: I would agree, but I don’t see how this answers my question about why the pure in heart shall see God.

H: The bible says that the pure in heart shall see God, but in the other legends who else is said to appear to the pure of heart?

C: Unicorns!

Chapter 2: What about other gods?

H: Chastity, I have a special challenge for you. Just imagine that you were a parent of a child. Suppose one day you had a son or a daughter that you adopted. Imagine if they were young and had heard about God from another child at school, playing in the neighborhood, or even had been to church with a friend. What would you say if they asked you about whether God was real?

C: I suppose I would have to ask them what they think God is.

H: And if they said that it was the God described in the bible that they were asking about, would you tell them what you think?

C: Yes, I would say that I had read the bible and I had been to church but that I did not think that the god of those stories in the bible or that they talked about in churches existed.

H: Yes, that does sound like what you would say. But imagine that they asked you: “What about other gods?”. What would you say then?

C: I would tell them that I don’t know enough about the other gods to know whether or not they are capable of existing or how they are defined. I do not know the stories of them or what they have done. So I would tell the child that I don’t know about any of it but they should try to find the answers.

H: What if instead of asking about gods, they asked if you believed in unicorns? Then what would your answer be?

C: I would tell them that I once talked to a unicorn named Honesty. It had a horn that revealed the truth about me and it saved my life.

H: And would you expect that child to believe you?

C: No, I would not, because I can tell others what I experienced but they are not obligated to believe me. I think people cannot believe what they have not experienced and it’s foolish to even try.

H: But you would tell them anyway about your experience even though you don’t want them to believe you?

C: Wait! I never said I didn’t want them to believe me!

H: But you also said that they cannot believe what they have not experienced and that it’s foolish to try.

C: Yes, I don’t think they have any logical reason why they should believe me and yet, I hope that they do.

H: Why do you want them to believe you?

C: Because I want to be able to show you to them. I want to show people the real unicorn that I can see. But because I can only give them the words and tell them the story of Honesty the Unicorn, it’s not the same. Words are not enough and they do not transfer experience.

H: And yet the words are the best and the only thing you have to give.

C: Yes, that is all I can do. Whether or not they believe me is not something I can do much about, nor does it help or hurt me one way or another. I would wish that people believe me because I would never lie to them, but how do I know that I’m not just crazy? How do I know that I didn’t just invent a unicorn in my own image because I needed something to believe in?

H: Do you think you’re crazy?

C: Yes. Do you think I’m crazy?

H: Yes, in the best way!

Chapter 3: Just Crazy Enough

C: You say I’m crazy in the best way?

H: Yes, there are different ways of being crazy, but you happen to be the type of crazy that may come to understand things that others dare not think about. You will understand soon after we are done talking. But first more questions! Your mother said that God has helped her in the past. You once said that you believed that your mother simply needed to believe in a god to give her life meaning. You don’t believe that God really helped her. Does that mean that you think she is crazy?

C: Yes.

H: And you believe that you’re crazy because you say you were helped by a unicorn. What is the difference between what you say and what your mother says?

C: Words. The difference is the words we use to describe the power that made a difference in our lives. She calls it God and I call it Honesty.

H: Do you see it yet?

C: See what?

H: You have a different name to use to describe the force that helped you in your depressed suicidal times. How do you know that God is not a Unicorn? How do you know that I am not God?

C: Because I was told what God is. God is a mean dude that sends you to hell if you don’t believe him in the right way. God is the jerk who let the Israelites stay as slaves in Egypt for 400 years before doing anything to free them. God is the one who sent a flood to wipe out all the animals except some of them that were on a giant boat. God is the one who created all life on planet earth in 6 days.

H: But you don’t believe those stories actually happened do you?

C: No, I’m just saying that this is the definition that is given in the bible. It’s the God that Christians preach about in churches. It’s the God that American society believes in.

H: But it’s not the God that you believe in.

C: No, I don’t believe in a God because the word God has a meaning. I do not use that word because to do so is misleading. I can’t use that word because then people will assume I am talking about the God of the bible that Christians believe in. I’m honest and so I do not want to deceive them.

H: So you mean to say that you consider it dishonest to use a word to communicate when there is a high chance of it being misunderstood?

C: Yes, it is deceptive, misleading, dishonest, and just plain wrong to tell people something that makes them think you are saying something different than what you are.

H: And when you speak of unicorns, do you think people will know what you are talking about? Why is a unicorn a better word to describe the goodness you have experienced?

C: Because at this time almost every child knows what a unicorn is. There are many gods of different religions and some of them are good and some of them are evil depending on which story you follow, but a unicorn is always good.

H: And that is what is more important to you than anything. You don’t believe in “God” but you do believe in “Good”.

C: Yes, but they are different things. God and Good are different concepts.

H: What is the difference between the two.

C: Good is a concept of something that is healthy, pleasant, right, virtuous, life giving, protecting. It is an adjective rather than a noun. A unicorn can be good but a unicorn cannot be God because God is some dude with no life who sits on a cloud somewhere and is angry at homosexuals or people who have sex before marriage.

H: It sounds like you have a very clear definition of what you think the Christian God is and an entirely opposite definition of a unicorn. I know you got your ideas about God from a mix of the bible and what Christians say, but where did you get an idea that a unicorn was good?

C: Because people are afraid of God but unicorns are not to be feared. They heal and do not hurt. People fear god punishing them for believing the wrong way or “sinning” but unicorns are different. They never come to someone to punish them but to help them. They appear to those pure of heart but never to those with evil hearts.

H: Why do you think unicorns appear only to the pure of heart?

C: Because only those with a good heart can see what is good.

H: Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see good!

C: Wait…what?!

Chapter 4: Seeing the Good In Yourself

H: You seem so surprised when I changed the word God to good.

C: Yes because it doesn’t make sense. God and good have always been opposites to me.

H: But you can see the connection can’t you? That the bible says that the pure in heart will see God and similarly you know from the legends that unicorns appear to the pure in heart.

C: Yes, but that saying about the pure in heart seeing God comes from the bible which is full of many things which are not good.

H: This is true, but you are able to see that people have both good and bad parts about them. You can see the good in others but also acknowledge the bad at the same time. The same is true with the bible and any book as well.

C: But I want a source of only good and nothing bad.

H: Why is it that you expect there to be something only good and no bad?

C: Because I want something I have have complete trust in. I do not feel like I can fully connect with someone or something unless I knew there was no evil. I want something that is safe and that I am never afraid of.

H: And what kind of being would be capable of being only good and no bad. Is there anything in the human world called earth that is only good?

C: No, nothing I have ever seen. Although there is much good, there is also much bad.

H: And yet, you believe that your own heart is pure don’t you. There is no evil in your heart and that says something about a trustworthy source of good.

C: I suppose you’re right. I know that the bad feelings I have do not flow from me but from my experiences and the trap of the physical body I am in, but my heart or soul is pure goodness.

H: And how was it that you came to know your goodness? Who told you that you were good?

C: No one. I was told by Christianity that I am bad and that I was born with a sinful nature. I was beat down and believed that I was no good and that the world would be better off without me.

H: Yet sometime between then and now you have come to see that you are good and that you are pure of heart. Who was it who first told you?

C: …It was you, Honesty, you told me that I was pure of heart!

H: Yes, and you did not question it either. You knew!

C: Yes I guess so, though I did not realize the meaning of what you were saying. But how did you know? How do you know these things that I was never told by a human?

H: Because I am a unicorn. Nobody knows the pure in heart like I do. I am your God! Or perhaps it could also be said that I am the goodness of your heart!

Chapter 5: The Unicorn God

C: What do you mean you are God?

H: I didn’t actually say I was God. I said I was YOUR God. There is a difference.

C: What is the difference?

H: Humans make the assumption that there is only one God and that the particular god they are believing is the same god that applies to all people. What’s more, they make the mistaken assumption that they are made in the image of that god. If there is only one God, then God is a name of a person and would be spelled with a capital G. However, if there are instead many gods, then they would be referred to as a general class of beings which could be any gender or species. They would be referred to with a lowercase g because they are simply one of many but that is not their name.

C: Their name?

H: Yes, you don’t go around calling everyone you see “human”. You instead call them by their name, if you know their name that is. If you don’t, then you’ll have to ask.

C: So you mean to tell me that you are one of many gods? How many are there?

H: There are an infinite number of us.

C: I don’t get it.

H: Yes you do, you just haven’t put the pieces together yet. First, you said that the gods of the major religions were created by humans. Second, not only humans have the power to create their gods. Third, you know that there was no beginning and no end. Life has always existed and always will in some form. Put it together and they are an infinite number of gods, angels, dragons, unicorns, and any other legendary being that are told in stories.

C: But are these real beings or just stories?

H: Silly girl, you still haven’t figured it out yet.

C: Figured out what?

H: The boundary between what humans call “real” and “imaginary” could itself be called imaginary.

C: But there must be an objective reality that we share that would separate the two, wouldn’t it?

H: I challenge you to try convincing anyone of that. People are each in their own reality. Their beliefs in the religion and other social norms shape their reality enough that people are willing to even die for their beliefs and sometimes even kill others. Beliefs and imaginations make a difference between life or death in what you call the “real” world. So, tell me where the boundary is!

C: It doesn’t exist!

H: Correct! Nobody will talk you out of your knowledge that you talked to Honesty the Unicorn. Nobody will convince you that you are male just by telling you what parts you were born with, and you will not be able to tell people that their spiritual experiences did not happen. Their gods keep them alive just as your god has kept you alive and your mother’s god has kept her alive.

C: But what words do I use to communicate with others if they are in a different reality than my own?

H: Anything you like, because they aren’t gonna listen to you!

C: Come on Honesty, be serious. You must have some advice for me on how to navigate this situation.

H: Yes I do, but it’s not something I can just tell you. It is, however, something I can show you!

Chapter 6: Which Truth to Tell

C: What is it that you say you can show me?

H: That telling the truth is not always as simple as you think. Sometimes there is more than one truth to tell and you might be torn over which to tell.

C: And how can you show me this?

H: With an example. When someone asks you if you are a man or a woman, which truth do you tell them? The truth of your body or the truth of your soul?

C: Is this a trick question?

H: Of course.

C: I do not know how to answer this question. There are too many assumptions, too many complications in how things are defined. What is the answer?

H: You can answer in any way you wish, but either way you are telling only half the truth, which can sometimes be very dangerous. So instead of answering either that you are a man or that you are a woman, you can answer: “It’s complicated”.

C: Yes, it is complicated. You’re right about that, but it does not do anything to answer the question.

H: Those who want to know the full story will take the time to listen to you explain the intricate details of who and what you are and how you feel. Those who don’t really care enough will hear you answer that it’s complicated and they will give up. This way those who only want to know what parts you were born with will go on to bug someone else instead but the more enlightened and curious will listen and get to know the real you.

C: Very clever! A way to sort between two types of people and save time when I don’t know which truth to tell.

H: This same technique can be used in other situations as well. If someone asks you if you believe in God, you can also answer that it’s complicated, because such questions are loaded with assumptions based on the culture, dominant religion, and the life experiences of the person asking. People think they know what a man or woman is and they think they know what God is but they don’t.

C: This is all true and sometimes it’s the best answer, but can I handle the complicated details of these things myself? Only after I understand it can I begin to explain it to those who want to understand me. I want to dive down and understand these things. Words very much confuse me because I assumed they had a meaning but now I’m not so sure. I know it’s complicated and you’re right. Sometimes there really is more than one truth to tell, but I want to know all the versions of the truth, not just part of it.

Chapter 7: You can’t handle the truth!

H: So, Chastity, you want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the Truth?

C: Yes.

H: You can’t handle the truth!

C: Wanna bet? Hit me with everything you’ve got. I’m strong enough now. I can take it.

H: Alright, ask me what you want to know the truth about?

C: I want to know who you are, where you came from, why you seem to know exactly what to say at just the right time. Why you came to me when I was already over 30 years old, why you appear sometimes and not others, and why you are such an annoying horse and yet so helpful to talk to. Tell me the truth about all these things!

H: It’s…complicated.

C: Damn you, Honesty! You’re the most annoying unicorn I’ve ever met! Well…the only one.

H: Ha ha! I’m just kidding. Even those who tell the truth have a sense of humor. I’ll answer your questions but this is gonna take a while. We must take these one at a time. First, you wanted to know who I am. I answered this question once before. I told you I am your subconscious. But you don’t accept this answer do you?

C: No, something is a bit off. I don’t know much about the subconscious mind or what it’s all about, but it could be my ignorance. I’m not a psychologist.

H: What a coincidence, neither am I!

C: Well you could have fooled me! You have helped me explore parts of myself that I didn’t know were there. I can’t help but feel that if you were merely my subconscious then I would have somehow pieced the answers together years ago long before I met you. So I think there is more to the truth than what you have told me.

H: Clever girl! Yes, more than one thing is going on here and there is more than one truth to tell. The subconscious, which you might also refer to as the unconscious or even the super-conscious is something that has far greater power than could possibly be explained with words, but its power is evident in everyone’s lives every day. You think of yourself as merely the so-called conscious part of yourself that has to process information from your sense of sight and hearing and react to it, but you don’t have to “think” in the right way to make your heart beat or to digest your food.

So many things happen even while you are asleep that nobody could operate consciously if they had a control panel and pushed buttons all the time. It is automatic and much more efficient than your slow processing of human language and trying to translate words and sights into the right actions you have to do. I told you I was your subconscious, which is true, but it’s not the only truth.

C: Then what are the other truths? Are you a part of me or are you someone else entirely?

H: This isn’t an either-or thing. I am you but I am also not you. I am inside you and outside you. I am before you and also after you. I am you but I am also not a person at all. I am real but also imaginary, I am a unicorn but also very human. I can be more than one thing. I can be what I wish to be but also at the same time whatever you need me to be for you at the time.

C: I’m so confused. I need something that I can understand. Why speak in riddles I cannot solve?

H: I work in mysterious ways!

C: What?! But why?!

H: I would give you an answer that you understand if I could, but I am a unicorn, and no unicorn ever followed the logic of the human mind. Neither you nor anyone else will be able to put labels on me and tell me who or what I am any more than you will let people put a label on you!

C: I see. We have that in common. Is that why you came to help me?

H: As before, there are many reasons for things. I came to you because you are pure in heart. I came to you because you needed my help. But there is more. I came to you because I need your help too.

C: Wait…you need my help? How can I help you? What can I do that you can’t already do for yourself?

H: It’s nothing I need done for myself. This is about what you do for others. Among those born in human bodies, I have not met one more like me than you are. You are good but also truthful. You have logical explanations for what you do but you are at the same time contradictory and illogical as you wrestle with conflicting desires and beliefs.

C: Wait, you’ve met other people?

H: Yes, but that is not your concern right now. I told you that I was your subconscious because I was telling you enough truth to get you to shut up and listen to me. You would never have gotten anywhere in your emotional healing if you had been only concerned with minor details like why a unicorn was talking to you in your dreams. While your curiosity is inspiring, there are times you need to be more focused on the topic and to shut up and listen.

Chapter 8: Even a unicorn can be afraid

C: Alright, Honesty, I am not done with you on these topics but I will listen to what you have to say to me. You said you wanted my help. What is it that I need to do?

H: You must remind yourself as well as others to never give up on their dreams. While a person can be truthful, there is a great danger facing your world as there has been many other times as well. In a world where only one version of the truth is told, other parts of the story will be missing. As soon as a single worldview and belief system overtakes the world, all is lost. Humanity is in danger of losing all its hope.

C: What do you mean? What has this to do with me?

H: Nothing, and yet at the same time, everything. You know well the danger of people blindly believing things without evidence. You experienced much harm by those who call themselves Christians and want to shape the world off ancient books and even traditions which have never been written, but any worldview which gains too much power and forces itself on everything and demands that only one version of the truth be told will be at the same time promoting lies. This is because there is always more than one side to any story. Even an evidence-based worldview will be limited only to the evidence which can be obtained. Even that is limited by politics and human greed as I’m sure you well know.

C: Yes, I do know these things. But what can I do about all this? You know I’m just one person in a world of billions of others, most which never listen to me at all. Are you asking me to change them? To tell them some great revelation that will change the world forever?

H: No, not at all. Instead I want everyone to be who they are and say what they feel. That is the way progress is made. Freedom of speech must be protected above all else. For as soon as one is no longer able to speak for what they believe is good or true, then conversations end. What if the whole world all agreed on every single issue but every single one of them is wrong because only one truth was allowed to be told. That is something that even I, a unicorn, am afraid of.

C: That is very terrifying! But I know that I alone can’t stop it.

H: But you are not alone. You have more power than you know. And for once the rebellious nature of humans will be our ally in this fight. You don’t even need anyone to listen to you or agree with you on most things. The fact that others disagree can in fact be better than a group of people who are clones of each other. When people of different religions, cultures, languages, and whatever differences they may have all are in the fight for the same thing, nothing is going to stop them. That is power.

C: Yes, you’re right. A world where people can find common ground is better than a world where they all kill each other for being slightly different. I will do it, Honesty. I will remind people to never give up on their dreams and to follow their heart. All I can hope is that we will be able to head in the same direction eventually.

H: Yes, Chastity, that is the only hope for all of us!

Chapter 9: Evidence of things not seen?

C: I do hope that the world will be better and that somehow I am making a difference, but I do not see evidence of change as I would like.

H: Evidence won’t get you very far in life, Chastity. What evidence of improving the world are you looking for? Do you even know?

C: No, I guess I don’t know what type of evidence I could find or that I would accept. I must see things as they are and only then can I accept the evidence of my eyes.

H: But what about the evidence of your heart?

C: What do you mean?

H: You know in your heart that things in the world are not as they should be, but yet, you have never once SEEN the world as you want it to be and as you know it should be. So do you believe your eyes or your heart?

C: I never have thought of it this way. I guess there are times where what I hope to see is not based on what I had seen previously, for the world was wrong before I was born yet I knew it was wrong even though I never saw anything else.

H: If you ask me, you have great faith.

C: Faith? Is that what you call believing without evidence?

H: That is what some humans say, but I have a different way of saying it. I say that faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

C: Evidence of things not seen?

H: Yes, there are many things that you believe that you have never seen with your eyes of your body. This is why I say you have great faith, because nothing you see will change what you believe about the things that matter most.

C: You said faith is the substance of things hoped for. What is hope and how is it related to faith?

H: You said before that you hope we will all head in the same direction if we don’t give up on our dreams and follow our hearts. When you hope for something, you want it, you desire it, you wish for it greatly. Faith is when you believe somehow that your wishes will come true.

C: There are many things I hope for, the things which I desire.

H: What is your greatest of your hopes? If there were a genie that could grant you one wish, what would it be?

Chapter 10: The Vow of Truth

C: You ask me what I wish, Honesty? Does it make a difference? Can my wish be granted?

H: Do not worry about whether you can achieve what you wish. Rather think what you can learn by knowing your wish. So I ask again, what is it that you wish for, Chastity?

C: I wish that everyone were incapable of lying. It is very difficult to tell the truth while committing evil deeds and even harder to continue doing so. I very much know that my own existence is based on a lie. You see the lies my father told my mother in order to convince her to marry him are the only reason that he is my father and she is my mother. If he had told the truth, that his intention was only to use her as a slave and to have sex with her but that he did not love her, she would have known better than to marry him no matter how persistent he was.

H: So, you are saying that you would not be here if it was not for the fact that your father’s lies were successful and resulted in your parents 18 year long marriage?

C: Yes, this I believe. So, you see my wish is the exact same wish that the little boy Max made in the movie Liar Liar. He wished that his father, Fletcher Reede, for one day could not tell a lie. But I think his wish was too small. Rather it would be better if everyone could not lie for all time! Many lives would be saved and lives that exist only because of lies would never exist.

H: Because you are pure of heart and because my horn is the mirror of truth, I know better than anyone that you tell the truth about your wish. You have long held the belief that you do not belong here, even though I told you once before that you do. Do you doubt me?

C: Yes, I believe that because this is my dream that it would make sense that you would tell me that I would belong here and that my life matters. Perhaps I mean to comfort myself in some way and yet because I do not truly believe that I belong then I am unable to believe you. Even though you are the horse of truth and your name is Honesty, I cannot just ignore how I feel and believe a dream horse.

H: Ah yes, but there is a difference between what you feel and what you know inside.

C: How can I know this difference?

H: How did you know that your father was a liar? How did your mother come to understand?

C: Because his actions did not line up with his words. An honest soul has actions to match their words.

H: And do your actions match your words?

C: Yes, I do believe so.

H: Wrong! While it is true that most of the time your actions do match your words, everyone makes mistakes. And while your heart is pure, sometimes your mind is a steaming pile of horse shit!

C: Somehow I do not find comfort in your insult of my mind!

H: Good, because I did not come here to comfort you. Rather I came to give you the truth!

C: Maybe you were right, Honesty. Maybe I am not strong enough to know the truth!

H: I knew that, but you asked for it, sister! I am going to tell you things that are gonna blow your little pea-brain mind!

C: OK then, hit me with it. I have nothing better to do than to listen right now.

H: The first is that when you were a child, you made a solemn vow that you would not be the same as your father! You saw the harm of lies and committed yourself to the truth long ago. This was your Vow of Truth!

C: Yes, I remember this! But why do you mention this? What does it have to do with whether or not I am meant to exist?

H: Much! As you will soon understand!

Chapter 11: The Birth of the Unicorn

C: Alright then, Honesty, tell me how it is that I belong here even though I am here because of events that should not have taken place?

H: To understand why you are here, I must first tell you why I am here. I needed the correct context to be explained before you could understand this, but here is…the truth. When you made a promise to yourself to be honest and to be the very opposite of your father and to tell the truth, that was the moment that I was born.

C: When you were born?

H: Unicorns are made of the stuff of dreams, Chastity. When you made that vow, you really meant it. Mere words have no power, but the wish of an innocent child does! It wasn’t so much anything you said, it was what you wished inside. You wished to be different. You wished to be a teller of truth and to live a life dedicated to the truth. Your wish to be truthful formed into a being of pure truth. That is the story of how I, Honesty the Unicorn, was born. The truth has always existed, but to be the shape that I am now, is because of you. I was sent to guard you and keep you in truth.

C: And that’s how you became the guardian of truth?

H: Yes. Because you had a great promise, a great power, and great wish, and a great dream. You wished to always be truthful because you did not want to hurt anyone. At times you have failed because of your limitations but because you are pure of heart and always wished to be good and wished to be true because you know that which is true leads to goodness, you will always be brought back to the truth, even though at times you forget who you were and forget what you knew in the past.

C: But will I remember someday or will I only forget again?

H: At times you may forget but I will be there to remind you. You can count on that.

C: Thank you Honesty. I appreciate your help and I think I trust you, but one thing still nags at me. How can I belong here when my mother should never have married my father?

H: The reason you belong here is not because of HOW you came to exist. It is about WHO you became after the fact of your existence. Your commitment to the truth was BECAUSE you saw the evidence of what lies can do. Therefore you are not here to go back and change the past. Rather you are here to heal your mother for what she has endured wrongfully. Remember, Chastity, light shines best in the darkness. Truth such as yours would be meaningless if indeed we did live in a world where everyone was truthful.

C: Perhaps you’re right. Maybe I am special because I walk in the truth, but I would rather that everyone be truthful so that the world would be a better place.

H: So do I, but that is not the way it happened. Therefore I tell you, do not grieve over the past and what might have been, but think to the future of what may be BECAUSE of you.

C: And you believe the world will be better with me in it?

H: I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. The question is, do you?

Chapter 12: I Believe in The Unicorn

C: Yes, Honesty! I believe you! I belong here not because of what others did but because of what I am doing.

H: Glad you understand. You are here because you are what is needed. You wished that people would tell the truth, and perhaps most of them will still not, but you will tell the truth. You have granted your own wish, at least to yourself that is.

C: But what if I fail? What if I do not succeed in making the world a better place?

H: Trust me, you already have. Do not fear such things, for I am with you always. I am your Unicorn.

C: You are my guardian of truth?

H: Yes. I guess you could say I am your guardian angel!

C: That sounds strangely believable in light of recent events. But much of this does not make sense. You have told me many things, Honesty, and I am not sure what to believe about all of this. I do not have all the answers.

H: You should not expect to, because they are infinite, and you are so young! But you trust in me don’t you?

C: I still wonder if all of my time here and all of our conversations is just the wishful thinking of my insane mind, which is a pile of horse shit.

H: Even so, a pile of horse shit suggests there was a horse who gave a shit!

C: And you give a shit about me?

H: Yes, Chastity, I love you!

C: You love me?

H: Yes, I love my (neigh)bor as myself! For I am Honesty, the Unicorn of Truth and protector of all that is good and true. You love the truth and so the truth loves you!

C: Maybe I’m off my hinges, but I believe you.

H: You always did believe in unicorns.

C: Yes, but now I really do. I believe in the unicorn!

Chapter 13: The Philosophy with no Name

H: I’m glad you finally believe me, Chastity. You’ve learned a lot in our conversations. There is one more job I have with you right now. We need to talk about what you believe about God.

C: What is there to talk about? You know I’ll never believe in the god of the Christians.

H: Yes, but as I explained before, you do have A god, even though you don’t believe in the same one as those who are calling themselves Christians. You knew this years ago and stopped calling yourself a Christian so that you would not deceive people.

C: Yes, I could not call myself a Christian because this has a well understood meaning. If I called myself a Christian I would only be harassed with a million questions such as “Why don’t you go to church?”, “Why don’t you read the bible?”, “Why don’t you hate homosexuals?”, “Why don’t you pray before every meal?”. People have a specific idea of what a Christian is, even though they disagree on some minor interpretations of bible verses. I do not live as they do and so I would be lying if ever called myself a Christian.

H: This is correct, but do you see how people might be confused if you call yourself an atheist?

C: They should not be confused. An atheist is free to believe and act however they wish. The only thing they have in common is that they don’t believe in the gods of the world religions. In fact people of other religions are atheists in regard to the gods of other religions. Atheists like me just go one god further and don’t believe the god we were told was real that we were taught as a child. I simply stopped believing what I was told and what I read in the bible.

H: Yes, everything you explained is correct, but people also don’t know what an atheist is either. Atheism is a term defined by what you don’t believe or what you don’t do, therefore this label, while accurate, does not necessarily communicate what you would wish others to understand. You want others to understand what you have rather than just what you lack.

C: Yes, and this is why I don’t want to be remembered as an atheist. In fact most people know I’m an ethical Vegan and by extension they should automatically know I’m not a Christian. It’s very difficult to believe in a god that requires the blood sacrifice of animals as was practiced by Jews in the old testament or in a god that requires the blood sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross as some kind of payment for the sins of humanity. In short, Christians believe in a god who delights in murder and suffering. A Vegan cannot “accept” this sacrifice as part of God’s plan and so it is obvious that a Vegan is necessarily the opposite of a Christian. Yes I’m still technically an atheist but that’s not what is important to know. It’s important to know that I am Vegan and Pro-life. I reject violence and believe in peace and following the golden rule whenever possible.

H: You have explained why you don’t believe in the god of the Christians, but that does not make you an atheist. You have an even greater belief in things that are good and that there is a right way to live. And most importantly, you came to this system of living even though you had no support from other humans nor have there been any ancient holy books describing your way.

C: Yes I do have my beliefs about what is good and the way I live. However I try very hard not to talk about these things because I don’t want to force my beliefs on others. I do not want to make the same mistakes as the people of the major world religions have done. I believe a lot of things but this remains a philosophy with no name. No one else knows the many things I believe, except perhaps you do.

H: Yes I do and that is what I’m talking about. While you are not a Christian, you most definitely are not an atheist because I know you do believe in a higher power. You believe in a source of Truth and Goodness. You believe in me, Honesty the Unicorn. Therefore I am your God, your horse, your guardian angel, your hope, your dreams. I am not like any of the gods promoted by billions of humans and ancient books, I am the god created in YOUR image.

Chapter 14: Full of Contradictions

C: Honesty, just when I think I have come to understand you, you surprise me. I can’t say anyone has ever spoken such nonsense yet at the time inspires me to believe in things I dare not speak of. There are contradictions it seems in what you have told me in the time I have known you. Are you a part of me or are you outside of me. Are you ONLY a god created in my image or were you there before I was?

H: You’re funny, Chastity. You try to make sense of everything and you want a clear answer that is easily explained in a short time. Never are things that simple. Why does it matter to you who or what I am so much?

C: Because there will come a time when someone asks me about Honesty the Unicorn. As of yet, even I don’t fully know the answer. If you were created by my vow of truth when I was a child, then how is it that you seem to be of a nature that I did not create? If you were merely a part of my mind, why do I not know what you will say next? Your name is Honesty yet the things you say to me seem to contradict each other. So which is it? Are you material or immaterial, mortal or immortal, finite or eternal, human or unicorn? I want to know these things and I do not know them. And if I do not know what you are, then how can you be a dream of mine?

H: You know me but you also don’t. I am part of you but also part of things outside you. I am eternal yet am born and reborn anew many times. I am unicorn, I am human, I am god, I am angel, I am nature, I am air, I am water, I am earth, I am fire. I am your friend but also your enemy. I am your teacher but also your student. I am your personality yet contrary to what you expect, I am the alpha and the omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end. I tell you things you wish to know but also the things that you don’t want to know in order that you may know the truth and the truth shall make you free.

C: You’re not helping me understand very well, Honesty. How can all these things be true? How are these things relevant at all to what I need to know?

H: The answer to all of this can be summed up in the answer to this question: What species is truth?

C: What a silly question! The truth has no species because truth can come in any form!

H: And there is your answer right there!

C: Say what?! I still don’t get it!

H: Truth can come in any form. Any species, color, sex, or age can have the truth, or at least a tiny fragment of it, but truth itself has no solid form. What one person says is not necessarily truth because of their physical form. Truth could come to you in any form, but I came to you because no human would be able to make you listen. Only a horse has the power you need. So the truth was formed into the ultimate horse, the unicorn, which has always been full of contradictions and would not last very long if you try to make sense of it. So to you, the truth must be a unicorn, but to someone else it may be a dog, cat, dolphin, turtle, a flower, or even a tree! At some point you and everyone will meet someone or something that tells you the truth that you, and only you, will fully understand the meaning of. When that truth, whatever form it takes, speaks to you, you must listen.

C: You mean to say that you took the form of a unicorn because it is the most pure of all the animals known to me? That you are my truth and that only I will understand the message you are giving me?

H: Yes, and although at this time you may be the only one who understands, others will have a time when they receive a message from their own unicorn, though it may not look like me at all. Truth is not a species of animal nor is it even one individual person. I am the way, the truth, and the life, but so are you! You are just as real as me but also as real as the others you know in the human world.

C: Are you saying that each of us are all a part of life and a part of the truth?

H: Yes. It’s like this. Each person is like a camera in a particular location. Each sees a part of what is happening, but without all the cameras you can never know the big picture.

C: Is this some sort of weird pantheist religion you’re talking about?

H: It could be called that, but words have a way of being morphed over time and misunderstood. I am sure that no matter what we call it will in time be misunderstood just as all the other world religions are. But what I speak of is common to pantheism as well as other religions. But for now let us come up with a new name that describes what we are talking about but is not exactly like any other religion or philosophy. Any ideas?

C: How about Unicorn Universalism?

H: I like it! Not quite like anything else, yet speaking of the universe, which is usually thought of by humans as dead matter but also speaking of an eternal life form! That works for me because I am describing the living truth that is you and me and all living beings. If you had to create a summary for what this religion is, how would you describe it, Chastity?

C: That there is one truth we all share, but that this truth doesn’t make a lot of sense!

H: Nobody would disagree with that! And tell me, how is one to follow this religion?

C: That we find the truth together!

H: Preach it sister!

Chapter 15: A Better Way

C: Yes, Honesty, I suppose it would be a unicorn that would be my god. But what does it matter that you are here? What does it matter if you are good and true? What does it matter that you love me? The suffering of others continues and the world goes on with humans continuing to hurt each other and trillions of other animals. What you tell me now will not change the world nor give me the power to do anything about it.

H: Yes, the world is full of much evil and humans who do wrong. I won’t disagree with you there, but do you require the world to be perfect and good all the time?

C: Of course, who doesn’t want that?

H: Those who delight in doing wrong. They want their freedom to do wrong just as much as you want them to do right. So who has the final say in what happens? You or the other billions of humans?

C: People would do well if they followed my example. The world may never be perfect but I believe it could be a lot better. But even so nothing could make right the the suffering of countless beings who had painful lives and painful deaths. The idea of all those who have been here and suffered is more than anyone can count. I do not see how a happy ending to this story is possible.

H: And yet, even though you know that, you still see the small good in others. Even those humans who do wrong and even those who mistreated you, you still respect their lives enough that you do not wish harm on them.

C: Of course, because I do not desire anyone to suffer. Nobody, no matter how bad they are or what they have done should be hurt. I only wish for them to change their ways and see that there is a better way.

H: And do you believe that everyone has the potential to change for the better?

C: I do not know, but since I do not know what the future holds, I never know if even the most evil could see that they were in the wrong and then completely change and be entirely different.

H: Let’s do a little thought experiment. I know you are against abortion just as you are against the killing of everyone else. But let me ask you this. If you somehow had the power to go back into the past and abort someone that you knew for a fact would cause you or others great harm, would you choose to kill them to prevent them from hurting others?

C: No! Just because someone will do great evil does not mean that I have the right to end their life. They still have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!

H: And why do you think everyone, even the most evil of humans have these inalienable rights? Is it only because this is written in the United States Declaration of Independence?

C: No, it is because I, Chastity White Rose hold these truths to be self-evident just the same as the writers of the declaration of Independence.

H: And what evidence is that?

C: Because I want to live, I want freedom, and I want to make myself happy however that may be. Since I want these things for myself I must protect these rights for others or I am in violation of the golden rule which has always been my principle. So, no matter how evil people may be, I would not intentionally kill them because I do believe there is a better way to fix the world. I do not know if everyone can change or which people will and won’t stop their violence but if I have changed as much as I have in my life then I believe that some of them will change for the better.

H: And that is the power of life! As long as one is alive they have the liberty to change and improve. Even though the world is full of great evil, you have the power to see this, Chastity. This is what makes you strong enough to go on. I expect to see great things from you as you try to talk others into a better way and pursue your own happiness even though there are many things you are sad about.

C: Yes, however I may feel at times like giving up, I still believe that unless I try, I’ll never know. I am willing to talk to anybody willing to listen about the way that I live in the hopes that they do follow after my example and walk in the vows of Chastity, Truth, and Ahimsa. I know many will mock me and reject me as they already have, but the White Rose is stronger than that. I will not be stopped by others because this is my life and I will do what I want to do. I want to make the world better than it was when I got here.

H: “Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.” — Matthew 5:11

C: I remember that verse. That seems mysteriously relevant right now.

H: It is! You see I am Truth. Right now you know me as Honesty, the Unicorn, but long before you met me, people already persecuted you because you spoke the truths that you knew to be self-evident. People don’t usually like the truth because it makes them feel guilty knowing that they did wrong and so they try to silence you by making you feel that you are somehow wrong for sharing the truth with them. They do this thinking it will take away the pain in their hearts but it never does. So people persecute you for telling the truth as you see it and they make up lies about you and call you sexist, racist, or call you a sinner thinking that they are better than you because they call themselves a Christian and surround themselves only with people who agree with them and never speak what they really feel inside. So I say, blessed are you because you are stronger than all of them that revile you for speaking the truth. You are stronger than you know, Chastity, and you are making more of a difference than you can see. So keep doing what you are doing and pursue your happiness! May the Horse be with you!

Chapter 16: Unicorn Strength

C: Yes, Honesty, I will keep doing what I know I must do, although I do not see any reason to believe I will be successful. Most people don’t listen to me and I am unable to say the right words at the right time. I stutter when I am nervous and people judge me for my autistic disabilities or because I am not a Christian or because they are turned off by my vegan and transgender ways.

H: Yes, but your message is not for those people. Some people are not willing to listen no matter what you say because they don’t want to know the truth. It’s not because of who you are or your perceived weirdness that makes them not listen. It’s that they don’t want to give up what they have.

C: But doesn’t progress require everyone to all come to an agreement? Can there really be peace or an end to suffering if everyone is in their own reality? If half the people see the truth while the other half either remains ignorant or doesn’t care about how their actions affect others, I will never see the world that I would like to see. A world where everyone’s life is respected equally and where we can all be happy. Everyone! Human, cow, sheep, pig, chicken, black, white, male, female, intersex, rich, poor. All of us are the same! All of us are one! How then is it that we are still separated and opposing each other?

H: I have some bad news for you, Chastity. The world may never be as perfect as you would like it to be. Nonetheless, you have seen that life has value even though it is full of suffering. The truth is that every good thing is defined by the very opposite of what you would like. You came to this understanding that all of us are one connected life but you came to this knowledge by great pain. Had your life been easier you might not be the person you are now. The suffering you experienced led you to seek the truth in ways that others cannot because they have too much to lose. Do you remember the story of Jesus talking to the rich young man who asked how to inherit eternal life?

C: The time where Jesus said “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God”?

H: Yes, that’s the one. What do you think Jesus meant by that statement?

C: That those who have things they want to keep have a hard time changing because they don’t want to lose what they have. Jesus told the rich man to sell what he had and give the money to the poor and then come and follow him. After that he just walked away sad.

H: Yes. That’s because a person may not want to hear something because it means that if they accept it, they have to give up everything they have. They could lose friends, family, their job, or even killed for speaking the truth or living according to the truth they have been given. For this reason, narrow is the way that leads to life and there are few who find it. The more you have to protect, the more afraid you are and less willing to change when you find new information.

C: Is this why all the most important people I know in my life have endured great suffering and are often alone without friends or family to support them in hard times?

H: Yes, because those are the people who went against the majority opinions and their expected actions, appearance, and beliefs of their culture. They have lost much but gained so much more, although they don’t always see it. It’s not easy to stare the ugly truth in the face and yet still go on living. This is often why so many of the very best people either die by suicide or end up using something else to distract them from the pain of their own lives or the pain they witness.

C: I see. I already didn’t have all that much to begin with and it was easy for me to try things that no one else would be willing to do. I didn’t value my life and so I was willing to take huge risks and do the craziest things. I joined the Navy, I left Christianity and found my own way, I became Vegan, I got a full time job even though at the time I didn’t have a clue how I was going to get to work each day when it was 9 miles away. I fought doctors until I found someone willing to remove my testicles, I published my books which contain almost my entire life history! I did it all because I had no fear!

H: Yes, and always remember to keep this memory of how you did what you did in the past. Many times yet in the future you will be tested even beyond anything you have experienced so far and there will come a time when you will be tempted to tell less than the truth because you will have things and people in your life that you are afraid of losing. But when this happens remember that you have the strength of a unicorn and when these times come you will do what you know is right even if everyone around you tries to tell you that you are wrong. Fear not, neither be dismayed, for I am your Unicorn. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my Silver Horn of Truth!

After the unicorn said these things, Chastity awoke from the dream and understood where she came from and where she was going. She had the strength to not let anyone tell her who she was or what she should be doing. She pondered over everything Honesty had said.

C: Yes, Honesty was right. Living in truth is the only way to truly be alive. I will do my best to remember the message of Honesty the Unicorn and not to do something because I am afraid but because I know I am doing what feels true to me. When the time comes, I’ll know what is right. And I have a feeling that I will see Honesty the next time I need the strength of a unicorn.