Chandler’s Honesty Part 5: The Light of Truth

Chastity thought she had it all figured out. She knew she was on the perfect path of ethical veganism and celibacy. She knew who she was and life seemed pretty good, but Honesty the Unicorn had warned her once before that she would in the future be tested even beyond anything she had experienced. She wondered what this test could possibly be and wondered if perhaps there was still some great fear or challenge coming that would break her soul. She didn’t know it at the time but it would be this very fear that was her greatest enemy. She could be the strongest, most honest, and most excellent example of someone who followed the Golden Rule. But life has a delicate balance and there is a dark side to everything and everyone, even Chastity. When this test Honesty mentioned happened, would she have the strength to resist her greatest fears? Or will it be her doom?

Honesty had warned Chastity of a coming test, but that was not all Honesty had said. It had also said that it would give her the strength of a unicorn with its Silver Horn of Truth. Honesty had never failed Chastity in the past. Honesty was not like humans and was not even all that much like horses as you might see in the human world called Earth. Honesty was a creature born from a Vow of Truth that Chastity had made in her childhood. Honesty was a unicorn of pure truth and goodness. It therefore had no gender and none of the limitations that the humans who had failed Chastity in the past. The dream world was immune from the limitations of time and space and so Honesty waited there and was always ready when Chastity needed to talk about something.

And as had happened before, tragedy struck Chastity in ways that made her doubt who she was and what she was doing. And at one of the lowest times, she fell asleep after an exhausting day and spoke to Honesty about recent events.

Chapter 0: The Resignation

H: Hello Chastity, I can see you are troubled. You look tired even in the dream world. What is wrong?

C: I have been through the toughest time. I resigned from my job. It was what I had to do to protect what’s left of my physical and mental health.

H: It was hard on you, wasn’t it? What happened?

C: About two months after surgery, I was having knee trouble. My right knee started locking up and shaking uncontrollably. I was hurting so bad at work but I had to keep working even though I was crying from the pain. That was until December 9 2020 when I could not stand any more, my right knee popped and I could not stand up on it. I had to be taken to the hospital and have some tests done. I had to walk with crutches for two weeks and do physical therapy. I finally regained the ability to walk but not as fast as before and I cannot run or dance as I once could! I missed two months of work and even when I finally returned, I was still not fast enough and because of my weak knees I was using my back to lift. One day I was putting on a shirt and I could hear a loud crack in my back. My body seems to be falling apart because that job was too much for me. I left on April 9 2021.

H: What happened when you left?

C: It was time for my monthly review. Because I was below quota too many times they told me that they would send my review to the corporate office and they would make the decision on whether to terminate my employment or not. I asked why they bothered with that process if the policy was for me to be terminated if I could not meet their requirements. They said that I could instead voluntarily resign. I took the option so that I could leave the job the same day rather than continuing to hurt my body while some higher up manager went through a process of deciding my case.

H: Do you feel that it was the right decision?

C: Yes. The top priority was protecting my own health. I feel as close to death as I have ever been. All the muscles in my body are aching and the pain in my knees only goes away when I lay down. I’m not sure about what will happen to me but I know that now I may have the time to figure out what I am doing with my life.

H: What do you want to do?

C: I want to know that I am making a difference. I want my life to be more than just working a job for money and paying bills. There must be more purpose in my life than this. I just don’t know what it is!

H: Sounds like you’re going through a lot of changes. Do you not know what you want?

C: No, I have forgotten exactly what my life is about. I put everything I had into that job and I got my own apartment. I thought my life was just starting but now it looks like it could all be over. Everything I have could be taken away from me. I could be disabled for life and unable to work another job. I could be broke and homeless. I don’t even know who I will have left in my life. I feel so alone and scared.

H: Scared of what?

C: Scared that I failed in whatever my life was meant to be.

H: And you don’t know what your life is about?

C: No, I was hoping that maybe you could tell me.

Chapter 1: The Reason for Being

H: Perhaps I can help. Remember that there was a time before you worked any job. Let’s go back to when you were a teenager. Back then, did you worry about whether your life had a purpose or what job you would have?

C: I did often think about what kind of job I would do. I remember I applied everywhere that I could walk to. Nobody would hire me. I felt like people judged and rejected me. I did not like the concept of a job or having to earn money. It feels wrong somehow and yet that’s what people had to do to survive.

H: How did it feel wrong?

C: Because when someone works a job, they are doing something that they ordinarily would not be doing. Working a job in exchange for money is not the same as doing something because you want to do it.

H: Yes, and there were many things you did do because you wanted to that nobody paid you for. Why don’t we talk about those things. Maybe you can find the purpose of your future by looking at the past.

C: That’s a good idea.

H: When you were a kid, what were your favorite things to do?

C: I remember that I liked to go to the creek and climb trees. I liked to move the rocks and let the water flow.

H: What did you do when you were at home?

C: I mostly played video games or did experiments on the computer with programming or attempting to make websites.

H: What was it that inspired you to do all these things?

C: I’m not sure. It just felt natural that I would either explore the natural world when I could or that if I could not, I would attempt to create another world on the computer or in my games. I always had a vision for the way things were but that they could also be better.

H: So you believed that you could make a difference somehow and the world would be better because of something you did?

C: Yes, but I often wonder now if I was wrong.

H: What makes you think that you were wrong?

C: Because it seems that nothing I do will really be remembered. I’m not sure why but I want the world to forever know who I was and that I did something that nobody else could do. After all, if the things I did were things that others could do instead, then why am I here?

H: And you still don’t know why you are here?

C: I know why I am here. My parents had sex and produced me with a sperm and egg. The cause of my existence is very gross and so I want there to be more meaning to it than that!

H: You mean to say that you want to know that you are here for a reason and not just because you are the result of prior causes?

C: Yes, that’s it. But I’m not so sure there is a reason for being here. But if there is, I want to know what it is!

H: You may not be able to see the reason you are here right now, but someday you will look back at this time and understand that this was a necessary test in your life to train you for what is coming.

C: A test? Is this the test you told me about before?

H: No, there is not a single test. Rather each day brings with it new tests that build your strength beyond what it is.

C: And what is the purpose of these tests? If I don’t know if I will make a difference, what point is there in overcoming these tests? I am just tired of it all. I am tired of selfish people who abuse animals and discuss even which humans should be allowed to live or die. I am tired of having to please people and follow their rules or what is considered “appropriate” or “politically correct”.

H: I understand, but I wasn’t talking about those people. Right now we are talking about YOUR purpose and what YOU are here to do. That does not depend on other people. You will not find your purpose if you think it’s about other people.

C: But I thought that making a difference requires causing a change in people that exists even after I die.

H: But imagine this. Suppose that there were no other people. Imagine that you are the last animal on earth, then think about your purpose! You won’t find it if it’s about changing others because there are no others!

C: So it’s about me and only me?

H: Right now it is because you are the the one who has forgotten that you as a person have value. You say you respect life and yet you think your life is meaningless! So which is it?

C: I don’t know. It’s complicated.

H: To be able to love your neighbor as yourself, you must love yourself!

Chapter 2: You Hypocrite!

C: You say I must love myself but I thought I already did.

H: Not quite. Your love is not perfect. You seem to often value the lives of others more than your own.

C: How so?

H: Think about it, you are Pro-Life and against abortion, yet you seem to think your own life has no meaning. Why is your life of less value than that of an unborn child?

C: I’m not sure it’s really a question of value. The Golden Rule applies to everyone equally no matter whether they have been born or not. Since I would prefer not to be murdered, I don’t want it done to others.

H: And yet you have said before that you are only here because your parents created you by having sex and that you want it to have more meaning than that. What did you mean?

C: I guess I would like evidence that I was actually meant to be here.

H: Meant by who?

C: I don’t know.

H: Then perhaps you need to know what it means for a life to have value. Consider the non human animals that you defend as a vegan. Those cows, chickens, pigs, sheep, horses, turkeys, and countless other animals don’t live as long on average as a human nor do they have the abilities to do the things that you can do as a human. But you don’t judge their lives as meaningless even though they can’t do many of the things that you can do and yet they also came to exist by the meeting of a sperm and egg. Why do you think your existence needs justification but theirs does not?

C: Because I am a failure. The other animals never had the chance to communicate with the humans and change their situation. The only hope of reducing their suffering or protecting the lives of animals or the unborn requires adult humans who can at least speak the language of the other humans and convince them that they are causing suffering and beg them to stop.

H: And you have tried to do this many times yet say you are a failure. Why?

C: Because people don’t seem to be changing. Sure maybe one or two people might have gone vegan because of me but the harm that the majority are causing never stops no matter what I say. And besides that, even those who are willing to be vegan will not vow celibacy or sterilize themselves to avoid procreation. Humans breed new other humans and teach them carnism and other dangerous religions and philosophies faster than already existing people change. So no real progress is ever made.

H: So, you’re saying that you are a failure because you have not managed to single-handedly turn everyone in the world vegan and celibate?

C: Yes.

H: Well then no wonder you feel like a failure with that kind of ludicrous expectation. If you thought your meaning or purpose was to change other people, then that means that your purpose is about them and has nothing to do with you. That means that if everyone lived perfectly ethical lives, then you would not exist!

C: Yes, I suppose that is true.

H: So isn’t that a contradiction? Why be Pro-Life about others and yet not about yourself?

C: What?!

H: You’re a hypocrite, Chastity! You love your neighbors but NOT yourself!

C: I guess you’re right. But what can I do about this?

H: I would suggest that instead of judging your life and thinking you are meaningless and don’t belong, you stop and think about the others and how you are different to yourself than them. You don’t demand that the others do the same things as you. Human children don’t even work jobs yet and the other animals don’t ever do that, yet you feel like a failure when you are not able to please the people over you at work and lose a job.

C: What you say makes sense, but I don’t know how to belong in this world without proving that I am good enough!

H: And who would you prove it to? Why let others who are selfish and hurt others carelessly be the judge of you? It’s not that you are not good enough for them. They are not good enough for you!

C: But I can’t say that.

H: Why not?

C: Because I’m not better than others. I’m not more important than them.

H: But you’re also not LESS important than them. And YOU get to set the standard of which people are involved in your life. Not because you are the judge of their life, but because you are the judge of YOUR life and what YOU want. So first figure out what you want and then work toward it. Don’t worry about the standards of society. Do what feels right to you.

C: But how will I know I am making the right choices in life?

H: You can know for a fact that you’re not!

C: What?

H: You used to do a podcast explaining about the illusion of Free Will and that none of us are really the authors of our choices. You should know better than anyone that everything you say, think, feel, or do is the result of prior causes. So you need not worry about your future because you will always tell the truth as you always have, with one exception.

C: What exception?

H: You have not told yourself the truth, the truth that you belong here.

C: You told me I belong, but I still don’t know why I belong. I’m sure that someone else who is smarter, thinks quicker, doesn’t stutter, and has more money could do everything that I have done and even more.

H: I have told you that your value does not depend on what you do! You are valuable just being what you are. But beyond that, even though others ARE capable of doing many things more than you, they don’t wish to. However much you might wish that someone else could step in and take your place, nobody else wanted to! All the money and education in the world does not mean a thing without an honest soul.

C: I see. At least I can be honest. This is the one thing that makes me unlike others. But is that enough?

H: Enough for what? Enough for who? Tell me, is there anything BETTER than the truth?

C: No.

H: Then who is anyone to say that you don’t belong? Who are YOU to tell yourself that you are not meant to be here?

C: You are right! I am a hypocrite! I have failed to love myself as my neighbor!

H: But at least you understand now. Can you promise me something, Chastity?

C: Promise you what?

H: That you will never say that you should not exist or that you do not belong here. You say this only because you don’t understand why you are here.

C: Honesty, are you saying that you do understand why I am here?

H: Yes.

Chapter 3: Maker of Light

C: Honesty, if you know why I am here, will you tell me?

H: That’s not really my style, but by the time I am done with you, you will be telling me the reason you are here, although I already know the answer. Consider this a test and me as your teacher.

C: What kind of a test?

H: I will ask you some simple questions about you and your beliefs. You will find out precisely what you are by your answers.

C: What is your first question?

H: It’s sort of a loaded series of questions, but here goes: What is your belief about the origin of life and the universe. You have asked me why you are here, but I want to ask you, why do you think that you are here? And not just that, why are any of us here at all? Why is there something rather than nothing? What is the meaning of life and the universe?

C: Come on, Honesty, you can’t be serious. You know that I don’t claim to know the answers to these ancient questions.

H: Yes, Chastity, and never before have you claimed to, but everyone has some belief about these things. Tell me what you think of these things. If you think something different later you can always tell me then.

C: Very well, I believe that there always was life. I believe that there was no beginning and there will be no end. There can be no simple answer to the meaning of life or what purpose there is for the life forms on this planet or anywhere else because such an answer would limit that purpose. To put it into human words would limit the relevance of all that it is!

H: But if you did put it into words, what would you say.

C: It’s complicated!

H: And that is the truth! You have learned well, Chastity.

C: Well I did have a good teacher!

H: Thanks!

C: What is your next question?

H: You believe that people should be celibate to avoid unwanted pregnancy that results in abortion. What is the difference between preventing their existence by non-procreation and killing them before birth?

C: Well the difference is obvious. I know they do not feel any pain or suffer during that short time they are aborted if they never existed to be aborted. I’m not even sure why you would ask such a simple question.

H: Very well said, but that is not what I am actually asking. Let me restate this. Whether they never exist or whether they are aborted, they never go on to continue their lives on earth. Of course it makes a difference in terms of suffering and in the money spent on abortions, but this question is actually more about whether those babies belong here. Do you think that they don’t belong here to do whatever it is they will do?

C: It’s not about that, it is more about the fact that there are already those that are here that have no families and need adoption. To create more people instead of taking care of those in need here is selfish, wasteful, and a slap in the face to all the orphans, poor, disabled, sick, and elderly that need our help. And beyond that, I also cannot create new humans because I know that they would most likely not be vegan. They would cause more animals to be bred into existence only to suffer much pain and then be killed so someone can eat them or wear their remains. So, for me, it’s really about reducing suffering of the humans as well as preventing them from hurting other animals rather than me saying those lives have any less value, meaning, or purpose than my own life or that of anyone else here.

H: You have answered truthfully as always. I already knew you would, but remember what you just told me because it directly relates to the next question. You have just told me how important to you preventing suffering is, but you are also committed to the truth. Tell me, what do you do when these two values are in conflict?

C: Can you give an example where these two are in conflict? I don’t think I’ll ever need to choose between these two because they go together! The truth will lead to less suffering overall.

H: But consider this: What if people cannot be persuaded to change their ways based on the truth? What if they will not live as a Vegan for the animals because they are selfish and don’t care about them. What if they needed to be tricked into doing the right thing for the wrong reason? If that were the case, would you think it right for vegan activists to lie and make up other reasons to tell them so that they change?

C: No, I already made the Vow of Honesty. I will not go back on my word and lie to anyone no matter the cost. I can lose my life but I will not let anyone take my honesty! It is the one thing that makes me different!

H: And that’s your answer, Chastity!

C: What are you talking about?

H: You wanted to know why you are here in this world. You wanted to know why you belong here and what you are meant to be doing. You just explained that you are willing to lose even your life for the truth and this is what makes you different! Everyone has their value but since you asked me about yours, the value of your life and the reason you are here is that you were made for this! You were placed here for such a time as this when the world has lost the light of truth!

C: The light of truth?

H: Yes, the truth is a light that holds the balance of all things and keeps love in the world. Long ago, the light of truth was in the world, but at some point mankind lost this light. Men preferred the darkness because their deeds were evil. They became selfish and their love grew cold because they stayed away from the light. Even now, the light shines in the soul of the innocent, but the darkness has not understood it.

C: Will the light shine again for mankind ever again?

H: I do not know, but if the candle ever goes out, there is no bringing it back. But there is still hope. As long as there is one who loves truth with all their heart, all their soul, all their strength, and all their mind, they may succeed in bringing it back. Many have tried but when the moment of truth came, they lied to protect their own life or the lives of those closest to them. Even those who did not lie remained silent and hid their truth. Yet there were some who kept their integrity till the bitter end. They died for what they believed in.

C: And you believe that I am one who can carry the light of truth back to humanity?

H: Yes, for you are the bearer of the light of truth. You were given the name Chandler when you were born because you are a maker of light. You will carry the candle of the light of truth in a way that others were not able to do. For you hold nothing back. Everything you do you put all your heart, soul, strength, and mind into. But also you are Chastity White Rose because you are the pure love flower of light. You understand that true love must be unconditional and not simply a payment owed to someone. You have devoted your life to the truth even to the point of denying yourself sexual pleasure that most humans would lie or even kill to get. Because you will not be stopped by the weights that hold others back, you will be able to take your candle and go light your world! That is why I told you that you belong here!

C: I see what you mean now, Honesty. You have explained what I needed to know. So I can promise you to never tell myself that I do not belong or that I should not be here.

H: Very good, Chastity! I wish I could tell you more about your future but some things must be experienced rather than heard. For there are things that must remain a mystery so that those who love the darkness will not destroy the bearers of light.

C: The bearers of light?

H: Yes, you are but one of them. There are others that you know. They have given up family, friends, jobs, and in some cases even their lives. But know this, I am the truth, and he or she who loses their life for my sake will find it.

Chapter 4: Chastity’s Reaction to Biopantheism

C: Honesty, I think I know one of the other bearers of light. My friend, Naython Mornday, has founded a new religion called Biopantheism. It is vast and too hard for me to describe all of it but my impression of it is that it is a combination of Pantheism, the idea that the universe is God, with Veganism and respect for life. We are all part of the universe, existence, or reality. Because we are one we should respect others as divine as well as ourselves.

H: And do you agree with this idea?

C: Yes, because it fits in with everything I believe. We must follow the Golden Rule and love others as we do ourselves. Not just because it’s the right thing but because we literally are one with others! We are all part of the Omnia as my friend calls it.

H: Then would you consider yourself a Biopantheist?

C: That’s the thing, I’m not sure and I wanted to talk to you because something doesn’t feel quite right and yet I can’t quite understand myself. I have my own beliefs and what is most important to me seems to be the very thing that he promotes, and yet, I hesitate to be part of this religion because I don’t want to lose who I am and what I am trying to do.

H: And exactly what are you trying to do?

C: I am trying to live up to my own standard. I asked for the truth and yet when my friend tells me things that I don’t want to hear, I don’t like it.

H: What kind of things don’t you want to hear?

C: I don’t want to change who I am and the way I do things, yet some of the things I say or do in my videos he says are a form of self sabotage. That my singing is bad and my appearance is unattractive and that people won’t take me seriously because they’ll think I am just a weirdo and won’t listen to me or buy my books. And not only that, others have told him that its bad for his image to be associated with me publicly. So while I would love to help him with his religion and see it replace the religions that include harming animals and hating LGBT people, I don’t want to change and do things differently.

H: And do you believe him that it destroys your credibility because of the public image you have as a weirdo?

C: Yes. He is right about that part. Perhaps this is why people don’t listen to me and if not for him telling me how ugly and cringey I am, I would never know. I must thank him for his honesty, and yet I am sad.

H: Why are you sad?

C: Because I know that although some of the things I do have permanently destroyed my credibility as well as his, I also know that I do these things because I am happy. I have moments where I must sing, I must dance, and I must tell exactly how I feel about things no matter how embarrassing they are! I want to share myself and I hope that I am beautiful to someone even though I am not to him.

H: So you think he was right in everything he said?

C: Not everything. There is one thing he has wrong. My actions are not a form of self-hate as he says they are. They are a form of self-love instead. I have moments when I finally do see how beautiful I am, and yet I am the only one who can see it. I want others to see things as I do, yet if even he, the founder of Biopantheism thinks I am not good enough and that I need to change everything and consider my public image, then all is lost.

H: Why is everything lost if you change your ways to have a better reputation and be seen by others in a way in line with what your friend thinks.

C: Because to do so would be a living hell. I would want to sing, dance, or speak about certain things, but then I would think: “Oh no, Naython will be mad if I do and then he’ll complain again about my cringey ways.” It would be a life where I cannot feel confident doing anything because I would have to worry about my image, or his image. I just can’t care about that. I am what I am and I say and do exactly what I feel when I feel it. I would lose myself trying to please him!

H: And you think this is about pleasing him specifically?

C: Yes, of course.

H: And it doesn’t bother you if other people don’t listen to you because you’re just a creep and a weirdo?

C: Hell no! I don’t care what most other people think. Most of them don’t listen to him either even though he is very self-conscious about his appearance and the way he interacts with everyone. The problem is not my image or his but because people judge a book by its cover! They never see the inner beauty because they look on the surface but I look at the heart!

H: But you do care what Naython thinks. Why is that? What is so special about him that you even talk to him even when he makes you feel sad and ugly when he tells you how you appear to him or others?

C: Because no matter how much I hate him for how he makes me feel, I love him at the same time because he has the honesty to tell me exactly what he thinks. Very few, if any, have the nerve to actually do that. I want to say “thank you” and “how dare you” all at the same time. I love him and hate him. This is a most paradoxical mix of feelings and I am not sure what to do about it.

H: But do you trust him? Do you still think he is a bearer of light?

C: Yes, because however much what he says offends me, I know he is pure of heart and has the light of truth. For I know that he tells me these things because he cares about me, but I also know that when I tell him how I feel that he will probably want nothing to do with me. I want to be part of what he is doing, and yet I know that even if I could change and conform to what he thinks I should do, I don’t want to. I have a different plan and a different direction I am heading in. Although I do believe he shares the same truth as I do even if we must go our separate ways for the greater good. Anyone who gets too close to me will be cut by my thorns, but this time, I am also cut badly.

Chapter 5: A Different Plan

H: You said you had a different plan and direction you are heading in. What did you mean?

C: I realized something while I was working that job inside that cave. I am not meant to be hidden from the world in a cave. I need to be seen by the people.

H: You don’t like human interaction though, so are you sure that’s what you want?

C: I know it’s not what I want, yet it is something I must do. Now that I’ll be working at Hy-Vee, this is my chance to make a difference again. The internet is no longer a safe place for free speech. However, if people know me as not just some far away person on the internet but as an actual person that they can see, that means more. I learned that when my met my friend the Black Rose.

H: The Black Rose? Tell me about that person.

C: The Black Rose was my friend who I worked in the Health Market at the Lee’s Summit East Hy-Vee. She was the first person in Lees Summit who I actually met who was an ethical vegan even before meeting me. It felt so good having a friend like that in my town. Sadly I don’t see her much these days as she has struggles finding a permanent place to live. However during that time I saw that there is a difference having a person present with me more than there is even my friends on the internet. It’s not the same thing. Not everyone can be close to each other but there must be others in my town that I have not met. I must go on a quest to find the other bearers of light.

H: Where would you find them?

C: I don’t know, but what I do know is that they could be anywhere. I could meet them while working, while shopping, while on a fun walk, or even through the internet but find they are not far away. I need more friends in my life who value the truth and who also know better than to judge me by my appearance.

H: That sounds like a fabulous idea. It is not the type of thing you would have done before, is it?

C: No, because I was afraid of people, but I’m not as afraid as I once was.

H: And why is that?

C: Because you have taught me that there is nothing better than the truth. I was afraid of people finding out about my problems and flaws, but my friend Naython taught me one thing. I no longer care how people perceive me as much as I used to. I like myself and so should others.

H: What caused you to like yourself all of a sudden? Where did that come from?

C: Because I finally figured something out. I may be a gelding, but I still have my stallion pride!

Chapter 6: Stallion Pride

H: You say you have your stallion pride. What is your stallion pride and where did it come from?

C: Almost all of my life I have been made to feel bad about who I am. First I was taught by Christianity that I am just some evil wretched sinner and was born with original sin. I was taught the idea that somehow I am just bad and there is nothing I can do about it. Later I came to experience shame about my body and even my emotions. I would feel that I was somehow bad for even being angry with people. I hated my male body because it reminded me of what was done to me as a child and what other males do to sexually abuse women and children. I felt bad about everything about me and wanted to die because I was only useless. But then something changed, yet I can’t explain it.

H: What do you think was the first thing that happened that caused you to change how you feel about yourself?

C: It was when I danced. Something happens to me when I hear the music and I dance. I stop caring entirely about how I look and don’t think about anything in the past. I danced in church and people told me to stop. It struck me in such an odd way. Usually when people told me that I was in the way or a distraction, I believed them and stopped shining my light. But it was the first time I knew that I was right and others were wrong. People have mocked me and told me what I should or should not do, but I don’t care! I danced at church, I danced at the skating rink, I danced at the Hy-Vee holiday party, and I dance alone in my apartment both on and off camera. I even was in dance recitals and people were amazed at what I could do. It was a feeling unlike any other!

H: What is it about dancing that feels so good to you?

C: It is a time when my lack of ability to communicate with words does not matter. I don’t need to speak when I dance. I also use my muscles which have been trained from years of walking and carrying groceries. It is an experience that uses my soul and body. It does not even require conscious thought. And sometimes I even sing!

H: When do you sing?

C: I sing in the shower, I sing while out walking, I even sing while working sometimes. I never know what I will be singing. Sometimes it’s a song I heard recently. Other times it is something I heard years ago, and sometimes I do not even know if I have heard it before. My singing isn’t all that great yet I feel incredible strength when I do. I missed singing and dancing after I started working my job for Brillient. I didn’t have time and dropped out of dance classes. Then the covid pandemic happened and I was forced to wear a mask that restricted my oxygen and I could not sing anymore either.

H: And now that you have left that job, will you dance and sing again?

C: Yes, it is my gift to myself and the world. I will find a way to reach my full power once again. I realized that it gives me a power that is not of this human world. I can feel the energy and for once my body is a beautiful thing because it allows me to move. My voice may sound horrible even to me but I am not ashamed of my male body or voice anymore. I did not choose this form but I will use it while I am in it even though it does not match my true soul.

H: How you feel about your body has improved then. Was it the removal of your testicles that helped with this?

C: Yes it did help. The one part that was causing me pain all the time was gone and when the testosterone left my body I felt new emotions that scared me at first but that in time I will master.

H: What kind of emotions?

C: Extreme happiness and sadness. I can laugh and cry more than I ever could before. I only wish I could have had this feeling sooner and I will always wish I had been born with a female body instead, but there is one benefit to things the way they are.

H: What benefit is there that you have from your male body?

C: I don’t have testosterone anymore, but my body remembers the power. I can use this body for things that a born female probably could not. And because I was socialized as a male in society, people still treat me as a male and take me more seriously than they do a female. I can use this in my fight against sexism. However, I also have fabulous emotional powers like a female! I have shattered the gender binary of society and I will find some way to challenge everything I hate!

H: And what is it that you hate most about society?

C: I hate sexism, racism, speciesism, and any other form of discrimination based on age, disability, financial status, sexual orientation, gender identity, or any other thing that people will come up with next! These are all violations of the Golden Rule and are not the way of a Biopantheist like Naython Mornday nor the way of a Unicorn Universalist like me, Chastity White Rose. Learning to love our neighbor as ourselves and see the divine in all is the message that the bearers of light will share with the world. That is my plan, Honesty, and you helped me to see it.

H: You mention seeing the divine in all. What do you mean?

C: I didn’t get it at first, but all philosophies and religions are all created by living beings. I don’t believe in the Abrahamic religions that say that we are all stupid and that there is nothing good in us but that all good comes from some external force outside of us! Humanity has had it wrong for too long! People can call it by any name they like but it doesn’t change the reality that the breath of life is in all the animals. Humans think they alone were made in the image of God, but that’s not it at all! Instead, it is the life within us that all power flows from. So to be Pro-Life is to be Pro-God!

H: You surprise me, Chastity! I never thought I would hear you say that! After all you have called yourself an atheist for years!

C: I still am an atheist to all the gods of all other religions I have heard of. I wouldn’t go around and say that to other humans that I believe in God because it would be dishonest. God means something else to other people. To most people, God is the one described in the Bible or Quran that hates us so much he wants to kill us either in this world or burn us after we die. That’s not love, that’s not the truth, and I know that. Yet I have seen things that showed me a different way of looking at the world.

H: How will you communicate this to the world?

C: I know I cannot do it alone, but if I find the other bearers of the light of truth, they can explain things to others in human words that I cannot with my limitations. But right now I am talking to you in this dream. Because you are the unicorn of truth, I want to know what you think of this. Do you think I am right or is this just crazy talk?

H: I think that what you call your stallion pride is self-respect or the understanding of who and what you are. You love yourself finally and you can fully love others because you see their beauty, even though their actions are often ugly. You have only begun to use the paradoxical power that a unicorn has. This is only the beginning, Chastity.

Chapter 7: Paradoxical Pony Power of Positive Perspective

C: Yes, Honesty, I can see the beauty even in the ugliest of people. The actions of people may often be bad but I believe that at least most of them have some amount of good left in them.

H: There are two common ways of looking at the world. Either that people are born evil but can be taught good, or that they are born good but are taught evil. Which do you think is the case, Chastity?

C: I think that we start out good and are taught to do evil things. No one is exempt from being taught things by their parents, school, or religions they grew up in. Because these things apply to humans everywhere, they assume that the way we behave is biologically and genetically determined, but I don’t think so.

H: If society is to change, do you think it requires changing what children are taught?

C: I would hope not. After all there is no way that anyone change what people are taught in all parts of society. That would take a worldwide agreement to do things differently by all humans. That kind of agreement does not happen. It’s more like a powerful event happens that changes a person forever. There is no way to copy or transfer these experiences to massive groups of people at once. Each person needs something to happen that they understand. It’s not so much what you know but how you come to know it that determines whether you remember it.

H: We have talked about many of your experiences. How have your experiences come to form this new way you see things now?

C: The way I see things now is that good and bad things are defined by each other. There is no good without bad and the other way around. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we have to accept the bad with the good. Rather that we focus on the good more than we focus on the bad. Sort of a glass half full compared to a glass half empty mindset.

H: I see, you are planning to look at the positive things while admitting the negative things are there. Why don’t we test this?

C: What did you have in mind?

H: Let’s take something that you very much dislike and try to find the good in it anyway. How about your old job. What benefits do you think you still have because you worked for Brillient and shelved files in a government facility?

C: I learned that I am exactly the kind of person who can be trusted in such a position. My honesty is the best part about me. I have no criminal record, I cannot be bribed nor forced to do something unethical because I don’t have the greed nor would I reveal someone’s personal information which is meant to be kept private. I understood the importance of security and getting work done. If not for their unfair quotas and my knee injury I probably would still be there, although I would not have been happy as I am now.

H: What was it that made you most unhappy about that job?

C: I saw that I did not belong in a cave for the rest of my life. I needed sunlight, fresh air, and to have more time for other things. Many people did not survive as long as I did and they quit after only a few months. I stayed because I needed that income to pay my rent and bills but I stopped enjoying it and wondered if there was something even greater for me.

H: So you did find something positive. You learned that there was something better out there for you because there must still be something that makes you happier.

C: Yes, but I’m not so sure it’s the job or the money that leads to happiness. It is the things I do that I am not paid for that matter the most of all to me. Perhaps I can even volunteer at something just to be around people and make friends.

H: The Chandler I met years ago would never have considered these things. He was too afraid of new things and new people, but you are no longer that person, everything is different now that you are Chastity White Rose.

C: Yes, I am very different. Somehow I am just not as afraid of some things anymore as I was. I have been through so much that there is very little left to be afraid of.

H: Is there anything that you do fear?

C: Yes, I fear for my life and health because of what is happening lately with this Covid pandemic. I am afraid that people will try to force vaccines on me that I do not want. I do not trust vaccines nor can I even be tolerant of the idea because of the animals used in production and testing of vaccines. A vegan cannot take a vaccine because it violates their ethics.

H: What about other things, like medicine or surgeries that were also tested on other animals before being used to treat humans. How do you feel about those things?

C: I don’t like them either. In fact I would generally avoid surgeries or medicines in general that are prescribed by doctors, yet I believe that sometimes these things are required to save someone’s life. I just don’t think they should ever be tested on animals in the first place and they should contain only ingredients from plants and never animals. There is a better way than the way things are being done currently if only humans could agree to change the system.

H: I think you are beginning to understand that there is more than one perspective to everything. You can change your perspective about anything and bring good out of the bad. It allows you to see the way things are but that they can be better. How about we test this power on something else?

C: What should we test it on next?

H: How about your most hated and feared subject: sexuality.

C: No, anything but that! I am strong enough for many things but not that. I see no positive in people having sex.

H: But you did earlier! You finally came to respect yourself and value your own life even though you still hate the fact that your body was created from the act of sex by your parents. Maybe we can play a game and try to find something positive about sexuality even though the thought of it generally repulses you.

C: Why would I want to find something positive in that?

H: Because it is the perfect test of your paradoxical power to find a positive perspective even in the things that are ugly to others and yourself in some ways. If you can find one positive thing about sex, which is your most hated and feared topic, then you can surely find something positive in anything else! Come on, I dare you!

C: Alright, Honesty, I’ll tell you one good thing about sex. It’s the only thing that brings new virgins into the world! How is that for paradoxical?!

H: That’s pretty good! You found something after all. Tell me, why is virginity so important to you?

C: It’s because a person who has never done something will not experience the loss of something they once did. It’s sort of like the best way to stop smoking or drinking alcohol is to never start!

H: You mean to say that you think sex is comparable to smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol?

C: Yes, it’s not the same exactly but a comparison can be made. People do these things because they feel good to them. That’s why they keep doing it. It creates a cycle where they depend on it to either feel pleasure or as a way of avoiding pain by distracting themselves with something that overloads their senses.

H: And you believe it is better for people never to start doing these things?

C: Yes.

H: And why is that?

C: Because these things, while they may bring someone temporary happiness, come with problems. Sex causes procreation and spreads sexually transmitted diseases. Smoking can cause lung cancer, and alcohol makes people behave differently and do things they may later regret when they are sober and become aware of what they have done.

H: And how is it that you know all these things even though you have not done them yourself?

C: From watching what happens to others who do. Many have their lives destroyed by these things.

H: It sounds to me like you have learned what things not to do by learning from the example of others. So in a way much good has come out of the bad because you and others can see the results of actions others have done.

C: Yes, this is true, although I still wish these things had never happened to anyone.

H: But if they never had happened, then how would you know the truth? How could you be good without the knowledge of what is evil?

C: I suppose that if I did not have the examples of others, I would have to learn it myself the hard way from my own experience. And then, others would learn from my example of what not to do.

H: Very well said. As strange as it may seem, you are good because you have seen evil. You tell the truth because you have seen what happens when people lie, and you are Chastity White Rose because you remained a virgin and vowed celibacy because you wanted to not take the same dangerous risks as others did. To put it another way, you owe your existence to the sexual people, even though you are not this way yourself.

C: This is hard to accept, and yet your logic is undeniable. Others have made me who I am by what they have done. They have shown me what I don’t want to do. For that I must thank them.

H: Congratulations Chastity! You have learned the Paradoxical Pony Power of Positive Perspective! You will soon learn that you can use this to learn even from the most evil things. This is how good can come from evil!

Chapter 8: Walk the Walk

C: Speaking of paradoxes, I often wonder how to resolve them in my own life.

H: What kind of paradoxes?

C: I sometimes think about the conflicting desires I have. Sometimes I want to do one thing yet I feel forced to do another.

H: Is there a specific example that comes to mind?

C: There are many, but I was thinking about the conflict between wanting to be accepted as I am but also wanting to be truthful. I have vowed to always tell the truth and yet I still feel sadness when I speak the truth and yet I become lonely because it does limit the number of people who want to relate to me. I feel like I should not care what others think and yet at the same time I do.

H: Do you care what people think in general of you or is it only specific people that you know?

C: I care about the people who have the power to hurt me. Sometimes it is because I am still dependent on having to work a job and make money in order to survive by having a place to live and having food to eat. I want to be unrestricted in being able to tell the truth but also know that those who speak the truth about public matters or even their own personal lives can face discrimination and be fired or even jailed for doing something that is not even wrong.

H: You mean such as what has happened to those who speak up for the right to life of the unborn and the other animals?

C: Yes, people have long called me a misogynist because I am Pro-Life and some think I’m a Nazi because I simply promote Veganism and being kind to animals. I know these things are illogical but people actually believe these things even though they don’t make sense.

H: Or do they? Do you really think that others see you as a woman hater or want to control women’s bodies just because you think abortion is immoral? Do you really think that those who call you a Nazi or a fascist are being serious?

C: That’s the thing, I can’t mind read nor do I even have theory of mind to imagine what they actually think. Yet because they repeat it so often after awhile they make me question myself. Is there really something wrong with my views? I can’t possibly see anything wrong with what I do yet others say I’m mentally ill, racist, sexist, or a conspiracy theorist. I know that an honest soul must admit when they are wrong but I don’t see myself as wrong in anything I have been saying or doing, yet others make assumptions about me. Why do I even care what they say?

H: You care because they have the power to mess up your mind and make you question yourself. They also change public opinion and you know the dangers of what happens when groupthink is the standard.

C: Groupthink? What is that?

H: It’s the tendency of people to conform and agree with each other. Basically peer pressure. You’ve seen it before when people say “All Christians must believe that the Bible is literally true.” or “You can’t be Pro-Life and an atheist.” They have a standard that requires them all to conform to some belief. But you do not do this because you don’t actually have a group. Even if you were the type who could be pressured to conform and do things you don’t want to do, who would even do that to you? The people who say these things to you are not your friends nor are they being honest. They don’t even know you as a friend or spend time with you, so why listen to them?

C: I guess I would like to be accepted by everyone, even strangers, but that is unrealistic I know deep down. Only those who really take the time to get to know me will come close to understanding me.

H: Think of the people who you do spend time with such as your mother or the many many people who do podcasts with you and the few friends who call you and talk about their life struggles with you because they trust you as a friend. If you were really such a bad person as strangers have claimed, these people would have nothing to do with you, but they like who you are, Chastity.

C: That makes a lot of sense. Why can’t I always appreciate them and listen to them instead of the haters?

H: Because for so long you have been focusing on the negative rather than the positive. Try to remember what we just talked about and you will soon find that if you focus on the positive people in your life you will feel better.

C: Thank you Honesty. That really does make sense.

H: At the same time, I also have some bad news for you. If you want to be understood completely by others, it will not happen. That is because even those closest to you cannot truly know your thoughts and feelings. This is because you have been unable to put them into words. I know everything you think and feel even before you say anything to me, but other humans do not have that luxury. I would suggest that you develop your non-verbal communication because this can often be stronger than words. Words are the tool invented by humans but words are such an inaccurate way of truly representing who you are and what you think. I’m sure you’ve heard of people who talk the talk but can’t walk the walk. You are different though. You walk the walk but can’t always talk the talk. Though people may make assumptions about you because they react negatively to words, people see your actions that speak for themselves.

C: How do my actions speak to people?

H: Think about what you do in your life. You are being a responsible adult. You work your job, you pay your bills, you help your mother with what she needs. When your friends need someone to talk to you make yourself available and listen to them. You are a most excellent friend, employee, and bearer of light. Though you sound stupid when you talk to others, people can see your actions and that’s why they like you.

C: Are you saying that you think my actions can make up for the fact that I sound stupid when I talk to people?

H: Yes, and here is why. Consider the people who say they love animals yet pay to have them slaughtered. Consider the people who call themselves a Christian yet don’t even know what Jesus taught and don’t follow the Golden Rule. Or what about the people who call themselves Pro-Life and yet cause unwanted pregnancies without considering the consequences? You have tried to be consistent with your words and actions to the best of your limited ability. Even if you may at times fail, failure implies that you were even trying. Most people are not even trying to change their actions. They say the right words but their words are empty. You at least try to match your words and actions. If you can do it in spite of your limitations, then it means almost anyone can if they truly have a pure heart.

C: You’re right, Honesty, I will continue to walk the walk and focus on the positive people in my life who see what I am doing and can look past my words. But what I don’t understand is why I can talk to you but stutter and get all confused when I am trying to talk to others?

H: Because where we are right now, you don’t have your same limitations and you can speak freely. I will help teach and train you in talking the talk. You need practice and my job is to help you.

Chapter 9: Animal Sanctuary

C: I know that this place we always talk in is my dream, but does it have a name?

H: Only you can give it a name, for you are the owner of this dream. Look around you, what do you see?

C: I see grass, trees, all kinds of plants and animals. They all have every kind of plant they could want to eat. I see a world untouched by human hands. Surely this is how the world looked before man came and destroyed everything. This is a safe place.

H: Yes, it is your safe place, Chastity. What will its name be?

C: Animal Sanctuary.

H: That is a good name because this is a place where all animals are safe just as you wish it to be so.

C: Yes, this is the place that I once believed that earth was in the story of the Garden of Eden. No animals killed each other and it was pretty good in the story until humans showed up.

H: Do you believe this story?

C: I know that at least something very close to this story is true. Before humans destroyed plant life with their roads, buildings, and pollution, the animals would have had a lot more to eat. Maybe they were not all vegan but even to this day the majority of them are with only a few carnivores that eat other animals, but none of the animals kill for reasons of greed, control, and hatred, except for mankind. So I believe that it was mankind that ruined the Garden of Eden or Animal Sanctuary. If not for man, things would be so much better.

H: And I know this is why you still wish for the end of humanity. I think we should try our power of positive perspective to see something good even about humanity. Can you think of anything at all that you like about humanity?

C: No, I do not see them as safe to keep on the planet. They are powerful and this power can be used for either good or evil, but the evil outweighs the good. They can hurt but not heal. They can kill but not bring back to life. They can speak yet they lie and use their power of words to hurt the animals including the other humans.

H: You have seen the bad side of humanity but you have not seen the good. I think you must go on a quest to find the other humans who are like you. You have been placed in a human body in this life cycle, but it was not always so. Your human body gives you power that none of the other animals have. They cannot speak the language of the humans, but you have learned to communicate with humans by writing and have tried to explain to the humans that animals are their equals. If everyone was as kind as you, would you still think the human race was worth eliminating?

C: No, of course not. If everyone were like me, Naython, Monique, Guyus, Serenity, Sovereign, and the Black Rose, then the world would be made new again. It would be a new earth.

H: It would be unlike anything that has been seen before. Remember where humanity once was and where it is now. Change is slow but it is happening. Humans are now understanding what it means to be Vegan. They are moving away from traditional organized religion for the same reasons you have, because they could feel that something was wrong even though they were told differently by words. Although many humans have been confused by these words, especially you, you were able to come to this way of understanding that you have now. So if you, even being human, can come to be the way that you are, then it means that the others have the same potential. For the light of truth is not gone, it has only been hidden by the lies of man. But you have been given the gift of honesty and animal instinct. So use your gifts primarily, and only words when absolutely necessary.

Chapter 10: Autonomous Animal Instinct

C: What is the gift of animal instinct that you mentioned?

H: It is the autonomous or automatic reaction you have to things that you were born with. Consider the way that even human babies when they are born smile and make laughing or crying noises depending on what the people around them do. These things are not taught but are instead there at the beginning of your life. Everyone, including you, was born this way. Over time you have forgotten to use this power because you were taught to use words as a means of navigating the world, but your abilities are still there and they will never go away.

C: Is that why I suddenly have the feeling that I must sing or dance when there is music playing?

H: Yes, that is a great example. You feel the beat and hear the sounds and you try to emulate them. You basically have the ability to learn by copying others. This is actually the way that children learn to walk, talk, and do most things. Without the animal instincts they were born with, they would be unable to learn much else. But there is also danger in this as well. They learn habits from the others around them whether they are good or bad. We all set an example for others even if we do not speak words.

C: In what ways do I set an example for others? How do I make sure that I am setting the right example for others?

H: There is a trick to it. You see, if you try to consciously control your actions, you are no longer operating on instinct. If you try to speak or act in a certain way when only certain people are around or in a certain place, then you know that you are operating as an actor and using conscious control over your instincts. But when you are alone and you know of no one watching you, then you sing and dance as you feel. At that time, you are operating on Autonomous Animal Instinct and don’t care about the fact that you are naked and dancing around your apartment. You are acting without a script. When humans create movies, the script is written beforehand and people have to memorize exactly what words to say in what order. But you say exactly what you think and your honesty operates close to the level of this animal instinct because you don’t have to stop and think “should I say it this way or that way”. However you still have to translate what you are feeling or thinking into words, which is always imperfect. This is a transcript or a translation of what comes before those words.

C: I think I get it. I say things without filter and this is what gets me in trouble and yet I cannot seem to stop it. I don’t know what people will think about what I say nor do I know how I look to other people.

H: This is because you lack theory of mind. Without it, you will be unable to lie to people because you need to have the ability to say something to make someone think one thing rather than the truth. Because you don’t have this ability, you would never be a good liar if you tried. It is a good thing that you are committed to the truth because it is the only way for someone who operates at this level that is fine for animals but is misunderstood by humans.

C: This is probably why I don’t feel human. I see my body and that it somewhat resembles the human body but I don’t feel human at all.

H: That’s because you’re not. You understand that you are an animal, and humans are definitely animals too, but you don’t really operate in the way humans do because you don’t think in words. You think in terms of sense memories. You know sights and sounds. You may know a person by their face or the sound of their voice but that doesn’t mean you remember their name because the name does not connect to the face or the voice. You are a very autistic animal, Chastity.

C: Does this have something to do with the reason I am not sexually attracted to humans?

H: Yes, because you could say that the cord to the power is cut. The electricity is in the wall, the machine is there, yet the cord is cut. You had the body which would have been capable of having sex, but without the actual desire you cannot actually be attracted in a sexual way to someone. First you would need to have the desire to have sex, then you have to be attracted to a person with which to do it. No doubt that back when you still had testicles you might have been capable of it physically but you need things beyond the physical to participate in something like that, which you don’t need because that’s not what your life is about. You have a different goal to achieve and such things would only get in the way for you.

C: What do you mean about the things beyond the physical?

H: I am talking about the feelings, the desires, the dreams that rule over the physical body. It really doesn’t matter what the body wants if the soul does not want it. In fact, I have an example that you can understand. It is like being hungry and wanting food but the only food available is meat or cheese. Because you are vegan, you do not see this as food and so even your body cannot desire it. Now if you see a watermelon, orange, apple, carrot, banana, or even a lump of tofu, then it is a different story and you want it and will eat it the next time you are hungry for it. So what I am saying is that if you are not hungry for sex, you are immune to the presence of sexy people because you lack the sexual appetite. Some humans call this libido but you don’t have it. I use hunger for food as an example that you can understand because eating food is something that all animals have in common. You’re not very human but you are definitely an animal as you have said many times. It’s really not a surprise then that you would not identify with the male body type that you were born into in this life.

C: What do you mean? Are you saying that my rejection of sex is related to my rejection of the male body?

H: Yes, because a male body has the equipment required for the heterosexual act that results in procreation. But since you are anti-natalist and had already vowed celibacy, your testicles were completely useless. On the other hand, you don’t see the female body as being sexual at all.

C: I don’t? Can you explain?

H: Yeah, I can prove it to you by asking you some questions. What do you think about female breasts?

C: They are for feeding babies recently born.

H: And what is the vagina for?

C: It’s where the babies come out of when they are born.

H: You see, your focus is on how these female body parts relate to a purpose of birthing or feeding babies. Your focus is on the babies and you think about what they need. Surely you have noticed that most men don’t think this way at all. They see these parts are for something else yet don’t seem to care about the babies they constantly create by having sex with these women.

C: Yes, there is a huge difference between the way I think and the way those men think. I can’t understand it.

H: Just like you don’t understand the desire of men to hunt, kill, and eat animals because you are not that way. You ate meat growing up but only because it was fed to you. If you had to go kill an animal and eat its flesh, do you think you ever could have done it?

C: No way! I’m much too compassionate for the animals to do such a thing. That was why when I made the connection between meat and the animal that had to die for it to be sold, I quit eating it.

H: Because these common behaviors of men are seen by society as their role, you came to see yourself as a woman instead no matter what your body looked like. It’s about the behaviors and desires of men and women that you saw as different that was why you saw yourself as closer to a woman because women usually protect and care for babies whether their own or adopted.

C: This actually makes a whole lot of sense. I don’t understand what other humans are feeling but I do see that what they must be feeling is very different from what I feel.

H: Yes, and you are as you should be but not as society wants you to be. Your animal instincts are different than what other humans have. It doesn’t make very much sense for a man to have testicles if he does not plan to procreate nor does it make sense for women to have breasts if they don’t plan on breastfeeding. Others can find uses for these parts but those who don’t need them can do fine without them. For you, having an orchiectomy has made you feel a lot better about your body than you used to.

C: Yes, I knew that much, but you have explained to me things that I never understood before. It all makes sense now! I don’t know how you know all these things, Honesty, but you have explained to me what no human ever could.

H: Yeah, sometimes you just have to hear the truth straight from the horse’s mouth! Now you understand these things, but you never needed to because you are only meant to be the true animal that you were born to be. But I want you to tell these things that I have told you to the other humans so that they can also understand it because it would clear up a lot of the confusion humans have about sexuality and gender identity.

Chapter 11: The Success of Failure

C: I think I understand pretty well the things we have talked about since I met you, Honesty, but how will I explain it to others?

H: There is no one way to explain it because everyone is different and needs something explained in a way that personally relates to them. There is no one-size-fits-all method for explaining all the truths of the universe. Anyone who tells you that they have the answer to everything or that their religion is the ONLY way, they are a liar and they deceive themselves. For they think that the thing which they were told applies to everyone, but not everything is meant for everyone but only for those who want to hear it. He who has ears to hear, let him hear. He who does not can come back later. For all things will be revealed to them at the time they are ready for it and it cannot come any sooner than they allow.

C: How much of the things we have talked about apply to me and how much can be applied to everyone?

H: We have talked about your experiences in your life and your own personal struggles and changes. Much of what I have told you only applies to you specifically. However, there are definitely things that the whole world can learn from your story about telling the truth and following the Golden Rule. Because of your unique situation, you are sort of a teacher to others because they see how you live your life. It may be difficult being autistic and being lonely because you have very few friends to actually spend time with outside of the internet, but you have done well with what you were given. Remember the parable of the talents?

C: Yes, the one with the man who had 3 servants and gave them different amounts of talents, which was a form of money back then. He gave one of the servants 1 talent, another 2, and another 5. He went away and when he came back he found that two of his servants had done some kind of business and had gained more than they had when he left them, but the one who was given 1 talent just buried it in the ground and didn’t use it. When the master came back he was displeased with the servant who did not use what he had been given and gave his talent to another servant.

H: Why didn’t that servant use the talent to invest and make more money?

C: Because he was afraid he would lose it and that his master would be more upset if he had nothing left to give back to his master.

H: And do you think the master would have been upset with the servant if he had lost that one talent?

C: No, the loss of one talent would probably not have made much difference to that guy. He would probably have preferred that the servant try using it for something, even if it didn’t go as planned and he failed.

H: But by not trying anything, he did fail. He lost the trust of his master and was never trusted again to be responsible for money. The other servants could do far better, not because they were given more, but because they did not have the same fear, which was why the master trusted those servants and gave them more according to their ability.

C: Yes, so those who have a reputation for trying things and not holding back for fear will be the only ones who succeed! The others have a 100% chance of failure.

H: This story was written a long time ago back when talents were money, but today talents refer to the gifts we have and our abilities. What the world can learn from this story is that you must use what you are given and not be held back by fear. People fear failure but failure implies that a person was trying to achieve a goal. There are those who are given much yet they don’t do what they could do. Likewise there are those who don’t have much to give but they put their heart, soul, mind, and strength into what they do. They hold nothing back and will be the people who will live and die with no regrets. But to look back and realize that you did not do something because you were afraid of what others would think or that you would lose everything you have, that is a fate worse than death.

C: I understand, Honesty. I will not be afraid to use my talents.

H: Yes, Chastity, and you have nothing to lose either. People think that by avoiding risk and not doing things they want in order to protect their relationships, money, or anything else that they can protect these things, but it doesn’t work that way. All those things they try to protect will be taken away from them sooner or later. People die, they lose jobs, family and friends reject them because they voted for a different politician than them or some other choice they make about how they live their lives. They protect nothing and lose everything when they are afraid. Instead you must be the Maker of Light you were born to be and give yourself to others. The way to live is to give.

C: Then what you are saying is that there really is no failure because when you give to others, you can’t lose it because you have already given it.

H: Yes, this is the success of failure. The world has one way of looking at things, but I can tell you that the gifts everyone has must not be buried in the ground just as the one servant did. Nothing is really hidden forever though. People may be able to hide things away for a long time, but not forever. Everything will be revealed at the time it is relevant to those who seek it.

Chapter 12: The Truth Rainbow of Tears

C: I would like to believe you, Honesty. I would like to think that the truth will be revealed and will eventually win. Yet I am living in a time of censorship when people are prevented from speaking about certain issues. Social media posts are deleted and books are banned or removed from stores because people don’t want certain messages to be heard.

H: Yes, there are those who believe that by removing books or jailing or killing certain people that the message of truth will be stopped. Those who love the darkness would love to silence those like you, but all things that are true will be revealed sooner or later. If something is true, it will be discovered. When a person discovers something, they have the choice of whether to tell anyone else. Even if they remain silent, another will discover the same thing, and another, and so on. Remember what I have told you, Chastity, in our time together. Truth has no physical form but can take any shape. If humans think that a message depends on the existence of a certain individual, they are mistaken.

C: Can you tell me examples of how the truth is revealed in spite of attempts to silence it?

H: Yes, there are many examples. Consider the principle of evolution by natural selection. Charles Darwin did not decide things were evolving. He simply observed it and wrote about it. Likewise, when someone is asexual, gay, transgender, or anything that is not considered “normal” by society, they will discover this fact about themselves. Some say that people simply choose to be one of these alternate sexualities or identities, but you should know by now that these things are the Autonomous Animal Instinct we talked about before. When you stopped going to church and calling yourself a Christian it wasn’t because you rejected God or wanted to sin as some people claim but because you noticed contradictions in the bible and church teachings which you could not believe simultaneously. All of these things were going to happen. It’s a matter of how and when, but not if.

C: Yes, all these things must happen because they are true, but what is the best way to discover these truths and how can I fight against those who try to prevent messages from getting out?

H: Like others before you, you will speak and write about the things you have learned. In fact even now you are typing our conversations on your computer as we speak. You can tell others what you have learned. Though others will probably call you insane or a liar, the evidence speaks for itself. You have the power of perseverance. If you keep on speaking, you will be heard. If you keep on seeking the truth you will find it. For he who keeps asking questions will receive the answers. He who keeps seeking will find them sooner or later, and he who knocks on enough doors will find one answered eventually. You don’t know how to give up. You have too much stallion pride for that.

C: You’re right, Honesty. I don’t know how to give up. But where will I go? How do I know where I will be listened to and where I will find the answers?

H: Everywhere! Go into all the world. Ask every question, knock on every door, and search everywhere that you have a chance to find the answers. Find those who do not stop you or shame you for singing, dancing, or crying. Do you see that rainbow in the sky, Chastity?

C: Yes, how long has that been there?

H: Since the moment we first met. In the human world, a rainbow is created when white light is reflected off of water droplets. In Animal Sanctuary, the Light of Truth reflects off the tears of those with a pure heart. By this you shall know that wherever and whenever you see a rainbow, you will know a unicorn is not very far away. For the truth is revealed in tears without a single word said. This is my promise to you, Chastity. You came here because of your tears and you will return again, as will all those who are honest enough to cry the tears of joy and of pain. For it is as I spoke long ago, blessed are the Pure in Heart, for they shall see God.

Chapter 13: The Girl Who Cried Unicorn

C: Yes, Honesty. I think I understand. My pain made me who I am and the only way to heal is to cry.

H: Yes, you were always honest in your words before, but now you have been honest with your feelings too. You must cry when you are happy, cry when you are sad, and cry whenever there are no words to be said. This is how unicorns make the rainbows. You are a unicorn because you have the healing tears and you can heal yourself when you cry. Now you must wake up and use the tools I have taught you about. Until we meet again, remember the Promise of the Rainbow!

Chastity awoke from the dream and cried like she had never cried before. Through this she was healed of the great trauma of the past. Eventually even her knee healed and she went on a quest to find the people and places who valued the truth and also knew how to cry both from happiness and sadness. These were the bearers of light with pure hearts as strong as horses. Maybe you are one of them. If you seek the truth you will find it. This was the promise from Honesty the Unicorn that Chastity remembered whenever she saw a rainbow. She will not forget and neither will you.

May the light of truth shine upon your tears.

And may the Horse be with you!

“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.” — Matthew 7:7–8

“Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.” — Matthew 10:26

“For there is nothing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light.” — Mark 4:22

“For nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known and come abroad.” — Luke 8:17